


it is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves

by chants_de_lune



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming of Age, Everyone Loves Raven Reyes, F/M, Filipino Bellamy, Light Angst, Magical Tattoos, Military, Minor Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Minor Violence, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, her mom's a recovered addict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chants_de_lune/pseuds/chants_de_lune
Summary: the story of a girl who wanted the stars and a boy who promised them to her-------------------------------------------------------------Raven Reyes sees her friends meeting their soulmates and falling in lovebefore she falls for a pilot with midnight tattoos and a heart of gold





	it is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> a special thank you to users amihannicole and cabeswaterblakes for beta-reading!

Raven Reyes was five years old when she saw red and blue splotches appear on her hands.  She tiptoed past her sleeping grandmother and sprinted to the house next door and rang the bell.  Emori’s aunt opened it.

 

“Hello Raven,” she smiled, “I’ll call her down. Go into the living room.”   

 

Raven scampered inside as the woman called out, “ _ Beta _ , your friend is here!” 

 

Emori came bounding down the stairs, nearly colliding into her.  “Look,” Raven held up her hands, wiggling her fingers. “I didn’t do any fingerpainting today.”  Emori’s face lit up. 

 

“You have a soulmate!?” she clasped Raven’s hands excitedly before pulling up her sleeve to show a scrape on her elbow.  “I didn’t fall over or anything,” she said, grinning. “I think I have one too.” 

 

The first marks had faded by the time Raven’s mother came home late.  But when a smear of what looked like green paint appeared on her hand, she ran to her mother in their laundry room.  

 

“Mama!” 

 

Maria Reyes looked at her daughter’s outstretched hands, then smiled softly.  

 

“ _ Alma gemela _ . That’s wonderful,  _ nena _ ,” she cupped Raven’s cheek affectionately and went back to folding her scrubs.   

 

* * *

 

The novelty of her soulmate was short-lived. Whoever they were, they didn’t put much on their skin besides dirt, oil, and rare bruises.  Nonetheless, Raven wore jeans and sweaters when she went to school. Everyone treated soulmates like they were cooties, if not a worse disease. She kept her sleeves long for months as her mind absorbed two-digit multiplication and long division, Emori right at her side.    

 

It never occurred to her that she could try talking to her soulmate until one April in the sixth grade when she scribbled algebra formulas down her forearm.   After an hour, she noticed a message written in Sharpie on her wrist when she washed her hands. 

 

_ Are you a nerd? _

 

Scowling, she went back to her seat and pulled out a pink highlighter. 

 

_ YES I AM  _ she wrote in thick letters near her elbow.  She watched her soulmate write a response underneath it. 

 

_ That’s cool :)  _

 

And that was all that they wrote.  She sighed, turning back to her pre-algebra workbook.  She was good with numbers, not words, and if this stranger wasn’t going to bother her, she was going to leave them alone. 

 

* * *

  
  


A few weeks later, ink appeared on her skin in a messy scrawl of  _ Ezekiel 1:24  _ on the back of her hand.   Raven showed it to her mother after dinner.  

 

_ “ _ That’s a Bible verse, _ mi vida,” _ Maria finished drying the plates and gestured upstairs. “Here, I have one on my nightstand.”  She took Raven up to her bedroom and pulled out her Bible, its pages marked with several pink Post-It notes and held together with a Scotch-taped binding.  

 

Raven thumbed through the Old Testament until she found the book of Ezekiel.  “When the creature moved, I heard the sound of their wings, like the roar of rushing waters, like the voice of the Almighty, like the tumult of an army.  When they stood still, they lowered their wings,” she read aloud. 

 

Maria kissed her forehead. “I hope this means your soulmate is a good Catholic boy,” she said, handing Raven a pen and returning downstairs.  

 

_ What’s the Bible verse for? _ Raven wrote under her knuckles. 

 

_ CCD class, I had to memorize it. _

 

Raven vaguely remembered CCD as a sort of Sunday school in the summer.  She recalled stamping her foot and telling her mother that she wanted to go to math camp instead.  

 

_ Why Ezekiel? _

 

_ It’s my name.  One of them.  _

 

_ Do people call you Zeke? _

 

_ No. _

 

Raven paused, her juvenile heart fluttering.  

 

_ Can I? _

 

_ Yes :)  _

 

_ “ _ Darn those smiley faces,” Raven muttered, settling against the pillows. 

 

_ I read the verse, the one about wings, right?  _

 

_ Yeah, I wish I had wings of my own.  _

 

Raven smiled. _  You like flying? _

 

Zeke wrote back. _  I always have. _

 

A dot appeared on her arm, like he was hesitating with the pen pressed to his skin.  

 

_ I need a nickname for you now.  _

 

Raven’s heart skipped a beat.  Soulmates had been covered in “Stranger Danger” assemblies at school, but should she really be afraid of this quiet boy who barely ever messaged her first? 

 

_ I don’t have the time to think of one, I have a Mathletes tournament to study for.  _

 

_ Always studying…  _  he wrote back, her left arm (and his) now covered in the conversation.  She sighed, twisting her wrist to find more bare skin. 

 

_ Yeah, I wanna be a NASA lady like Katherine Johnson.  _

 

_ Busy girl, _ Zeke wrote,  _ that’s what I’ll call you, until you’re ready to tell me your name.   _

 

Raven felt her cheeks warm, shaken from her daze by the sound of her mother’s voice. 

 

* * *

  
  


_ I hate Kyle! _ Raven wrote on her elbow as she sat at their table, scowling angrily and not caring if Kyle woud see what she was writing.   Zeke wrote back quick. 

 

_ Who is Kyle and what did he do? _

 

_ He’s the captain of my Mathletes team and he’s the worst!  _

 

_ Why? _

 

_ He thinks he can boss me around because I’m in middle school and he’s older.  But I got invited on the team because I’m good and I’m FAST with equations.  _

 

_ So what’s his problem?  _

 

_ I’m faster than him and he hates that the only girl on the team is better than him.   _

 

_ Go kick his ass, busy girl.  _

 

Raven giggled, looking side to side to make sure no one was watching her.  She took a wipe from the pack in her bag and rubbed the words off her arm. 

 

“Reyes!” She lifted her head, trying to find the source of the voice, her team coach.   “Reyes!” Sinclair called again, and she stood up from the table and ran over to him. 

 

“You’re replacing Wick in the speed round,” he said, sending a glare at the blond-haired high-schooler that shut up any chance of argument.  He turned back to her and saw a bit of ink that she had missed wiping off. 

 

“Got a friend cheering you on?” he asked.  Raven shrugged, too caught up in the excitement to explain.   

She strode past Kyle Wick with a smile and a petty toss of her ponytail.   

 

“Put us in the lead!” shouted one of her teammates, Sterling. Raven squared her shoulders. “Oh I will,” she whispered, feeling a tingle from the stars newly drawn on her wrist. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“You haven’t told him your name yet?” asked Emori, looking up from her textbook.  “Why not?” 

 

“Because,” Raven said, working out an equation. “I have time.  And right now, I want to make sure that I can skip Algebra and take Geometry next year at Arkadia High.”  Emori frowned. 

 

“You know you’re going to get in.  You should tell him your name.’ 

 

“Why” Raven asked, distracted by her pencil breaking.  

 

“My soulmate gets a lot of bumps and bruises, maybe more than yours,” Emori shrugged, her face a little sad.  “So I write to him, whenever he’s hurt.” 

 

Raven sighed, closing her book.  “Alright, tell me about him.” 

 

Emori smiled.  “His name is John Murphy and he lives in Chicago.  But he might be moving soon with his uncle.” 

 

“How old is he?”

 

“13, like us! And Zeke’s probably 13 too.”  

 

Raven shook her head.  “I won’t even have the money to go find him until I’m older.” 

 

“Why wait if you can get to know him right now?”  Emori gestured emphatically with her left hand. Raven stood up from the table.  

 

“Alright, you win.  Let’s go home.” 

 

Later that evening, when Emori had fallen asleep next to her on the couch at the end of _ Prisoner of Azkaban _ ,  Raven pulled out a pen. 

 

_ Raven, _ she wrote _ , my name is Raven.  _

 

The words were clear on her wrist, and a few minutes later, faint lines appeared on the underside of her forearm.  Her lips curled in a smile. Zeke had sketched a black bird with outstretched wings. 

 

_ Nice to meet you, Raven.   _

 

_ How old are you?  _ she wrote impulsively, before she lost her nerve. 

 

_ I’m 15,  _ he said, _ and I live in Michigan.   _

__

So he was only a couple years older than her.  Raven counted her lucky stars. Some people had to wait a decade for their soulmate to even be born.  

 

_ I live in Virginia _ , she wrote back.  

 

_ Is it nice?  _

 

_ Yeah, is Michigan?  _

 

_ It gets really cold in the winter.  _

 

Raven laughed to herself.  _  I’m going to start high school next year. _  She bit her lip.   _ I’m trying not to feel nervous. _

 

_ You shouldn’t be.  You’re going to be stellar, busy girl.   _

 

Raven smiled so hard that her cheeks started stinging. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Raven and Emori met John Murphy on their first day of high school.  Raven had half-listened to Emori’s excited babbling of  _ he moved last week, just across town! _ , focusing instead on Zeke’s sketch of a raven holding a pencil in its beak.  

 

“There could be two John Murphys in our grade, what if I don’t know which is him?”  

 

Raven sighed, pulling a pen from behind her ear.  She held Emori’s hand, mindful of her fused fingers, and drew a star on her palm, then turned it to draw another one on the back.  She reached over to repeat the process with the other hand. 

 

“There,” she leaned back with a smile. “Now we just look for the dude with stars on his hands.” 

 

The bus rolled to a stop and they entered a herd of students slowly walking to the gymnasium.  As they went through the cafeteria, Raven caught sight of a short boy with something inked on his hand. 

 

“Murphy?” she called out hesitantly, tugging Emori’s sleeve. The boy turned and raised his hand, a clear star drawn on his palm.  

 

Emori gasped, raising her own hand.  Murphy’s eyebrows shot up, then Emori bounded over and hugged him tightly.  He stumbled, looking a little surprised, like he was unused to such affection being given to him.  He put his arms around Emori, smiling softly at Raven. She waved back. 

 

“So you must be the great Raven.”

“That’s me,” she wrinkled her nose as she smirked.  Murphy was not particularly good-looking, then again, few 14-year old boys were.  Perhaps he’d be a bit more handsome in a few years. 

 

Raven blushed, wondering what Zeke looked like.  All she knew was that he had dark brown eyes (like hers), light brown skin (like hers), and curly black hair that he kept trimmed short (okay, not like hers). 

Her thumb grazed absently over his bird sketch.  

“Raven!” Emori called, startling her from her reverie.  “C’mon!” Raven walked behind her and Murphy, feeling the smallest pang in her heart.  She looked at his sketch again. 

 

Why did he have to live so many miles away from her?

 

* * *

 

Later that day, Raven grabbed a notebook from her locker and took a step backward, colliding into someone with a small “oof”. She turned to see a head of bright, blonde hair bent down.  “Sorry about that,” she said, helping the girl pick up several pieces of what looked to be charcoal. 

 

“Don’t worry about it,” the girl looked up at her, and Raven felt as if she had just touched a live wire, this girl’s eyes were so vibrantly blue.  

 

“I have class on the second floor in five minutes,” Raven said, standing up beside her.  “What about you?”

 

“My class is up there too, I’ll walk with you.” She nudged her shoulder, a handshake feeling too formal. “I’m Clarke.” 

 

“Raven,” she said, hitching her backpack onto both shoulders as they started walking up the stairs.  “I’m headed to geometry.” 

 

“Nice,” said Clarke, “I’m on the way to chemistry.” 

 

“You got to skip biology?” asked Raven. Clarke raised an eyebrow. 

 

“You get to skip algebra.”  Raven laughed. 

 

“I did Mathletes, I’m past that.” 

 

“I’m average with numbers,” chuckled Clarke. “It’s colors I’m good with.” 

 

“You paint?” 

 

“Yeah, all the time. What about you?” 

 

Raven thought about Zeke’s sketches. “I draw but I’m not much of an artist. I like running in my free time instead.” 

 

Clarke’s curls bounced as she shook her head. “Oh, I don’t run at all. I know I should.”  She shrugged. “Feels like we don’t have a lot in common yet.” 

 

Raven gave her a once-over.  It was clear from Clarke’s accessories that they lived in different neighborhoods.  She had “CRG” monogrammed on her backpack, for Christ’s sake. But Raven liked her. 

 

“Well, I love pizza and listening to music,” she smirked as they reached the door to the chemistry lab. 

 

Clarke grinned.  “Well, pizza and music is enough for me.  See you later, Raven!” She waved as she entered the room.  Raven spotted what looked to be a line of Latin words written across Clarke’s wrist.  

 

“What could that possibly say?” she wondered aloud, then shook her head in confusion, still smiling as she walked towards her own class.  

 

_ Having a good day so far?  _ The words appeared on her arm.  Zeke was checking in, like he said he would.  

 

Raven pulled a pen out of her knee-high sock.  

 

_ Yeah - I just made a new friend.  _

 

* * *

  
  
  


“Pair up for your first lab assignment,” Mr. Pike said, tapping his chalk against the board.  Raven looked at the boy sitting next to her, high cheekbones with jet-black bangs. 

 

“I’m Raven Reyes,” she said, turning to him.  He smiled back at her. 

 

“Monty Green.”  Raven cocked her head, remembering the initials she had seen on Clarke’s bag.  

 

“You must be in Clarke’s homeroom.” 

Monty grinned.  “Clarke Griffin? She sits behind me.”  

 

As he plugged in their microscope, Raven noticed his long-sleeved dress shirt.   _ Did he have a soulmate whom he was shy about? _

 

Her wondering abruptly ended when she saw the vibrant green leaved printed on his tie. “Pot leaves, really?” she giggled.  Monty smiled. 

 

“Yeah, gag gift from my uncle.” 

 

Raven opened her notebook.  “I’m sure some teachers weren’t a fan,” she teased.  Monty’s smile stretched into another blinding grin. 

 

“Oh, Ms. Sidney hates it.”  

 

Raven felt a small pull on her arm.  Zeke was starting a tic tac toe game on her arm.  She covertly tugged her sleeve down. Soulmates were still a sensitive topic, depending on the person.  Some people had words and pictures blazing across their arms and legs, while others covered up with slacks and long sleeves.  Raven guessed that Monty was the latter. 

 

“Hand me that slide?” he asked, adjusting a knob on the microscope. 

 

“Here,” said Raven, passing it over.  She watched him, fascinated with how he handled his work.  It was clear that he enjoyed this, much like her with mathematics. 

 

“Have you met that Murphy prick yet?” muttered Monty, eyes fixed on the scope.   Raven chuckled nervously. 

 

“Yeah he’s uh… he’s my best friend’s soulmate, actually.”  Monty turned to her, eyebrows raised. 

 

“Seriously?” 

 

“Yeah,” nodded Raven.  Monty shook his head. 

 

“Wow, never would have thought him the type.” 

 

“Is he giving you problems?” Raven frowned, concerned. 

 

“No, I just think he doesn’t like me all that much,” said Monty, aiming for levity.  Raven shrugged. 

 

“Maybe he’s just bad with first impressions.”  When they were done with the assignment, she scribbled a quick message to Zeke, after winning their tic tac toe match. 

_ Jury’s still out on Emori’s soulmate, seems like he’s kind of a dick.  _

 

Zeke wrote back an hour later.   _ Poor girl, but then again, people can change.  _

 

Raven smiled, writing back,  _ I hope so.  _  
  


Over the course of a few weeks, Raven’s after-school friend group extended from Emori (Murphy with her like they had magnets in their hands), to Monty, studying Bio with her, and then Clarke, who begged her for help with polynomials in exchange for notes on the digestive system.  

 

Monty took a nice girl to homecoming, and soon she joined them at lunch.  Clarke went to homecoming with her childhood friend Wells, and he got roped in as well.  He shared civics class with Raven, and his smile gave her heart a flutter that she didn’t want to analyze.  

 

Over salty fries and pricey soda, the group discussed their tentative plans for the future: Wells wanted to go into politics, like his dad, Clarke, with persuasion from her mother, was considering nursing, Harper wanted to be a therapist, Monty was interested in pharmaceuticals, Emori in engineering, Murphy had no clue, and Raven, well Raven was bound for the stars.  

 

* * *

  
  


Two weeks before Thanksgiving, the gang was studying in the AV room when Raven felt a prickling sensation on her abdomen.  She winced, clutching her side. “You alright?” asked Emori. 

 

“Is it cramps? I have Midol in my bag.  And pads,” said Clarke. Raven shook her head.  Clarke and Monty truly competed to be the official mom friend, at least that’s what it seemed like to Raven.   This pain wasn’t menstruation, she’d known what that felt like for almost a year (and she learned more from her nurse mother than her pathetic middle school sex ed class) 

 

She squeaked again as she felt another jab.  Everyone else had turned to look at her by now.  

“This isn’t cramps, it’s on my skin, it’s-”  

 

She pulled up the hem of her blouse, not caring if the boys saw her midriff.  Slowly but surely, tiny pinpricks of ink appeared, forming lines and creating a cascade of stars that descended below the top of her skirt.  

 

“Wow,” said Murphy, breaking the silence, “your soulmate just got a tattoo.”  No one else said anything. Soulmates were still a sensitive topic. Emori finally piped up. 

 

“Look, I know we haven’t talked about them yet, but I feel a little awkward having mine right here and not knowing about yours.”  She looked around the group. “Everyone’s got one, right?” 

 

There were unanimous nods.  Wells spoke up first. 

 

“Her name’s Maya, she’s my age.”  His smile grew fond. “She lives in New York, and she loves art.” He glanced over to Clarke.  “I’ve told you about her, I think you’d get along well.” 

 

There was a long pause, and Raven noticed Monty’s hands tapping erratically against his notebook.   

“Monty?” she nudged his side gently.  He took a deep breath. 

 

“My soulmate is a guy.  I know that’s not completely unheard of, but I also like guys,” he took another steadying breath, still nervous, “and I know that’s what some people really don’t like.” 

 

“My soulmate’s a girl, you’re alright,” said Harper, rubbing his shoulder. 

 

“And I’m bi,” said Clarke, smiling.  All the tension drained from Monty’s slight frame.  

 

“His name is Jasper.  He lives in California, and I’ve talked to him since I could write.  He’s my best friend.”

 

“Does he like boys?” asked Wells.  Monty sighed, rubbing his face. 

 

“He says he doesn’t know yet, he’s still trying to figure it out.” 

 

“I mean, I’ve heard of people who live with their soulmates platonically,” said Murphy, hand on the back of his neck.  “It sounds like you’ve got a good friendship with the dude already.” 

Monty cocked his head, surprised by Murphy’s support.  “Thanks... yeah, I have.” 

 

“That might be the case with my soulmate,” said Harper. “Her name is Gaia, and she lives in Miami.” 

 

“Gaia’s a pretty name,” said Wells.  

 

“Greek goddess of Earth,” added Clarke. 

 

Harper smiled.  “She’s very spiritual, and I find that nice.  No one in my family is religious.” 

 

“What about you, Clarke?” Raven raised an eyebrow.  “Who are you drawing that Roman column on your hand for?” 

 

Clarke blushed.  “It’s a Corinthian one,” she said, her left hand tracing the sketch.  “His name is Bellamy, and he’s a volunteer guide at a museum in his city.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

“In the Philippines.” 

 

“ _ Oh _ .” 

 

Soulmates living in different countries was normal, but usually they were in the same  _ hemisphere _ . 

 

“What else do you know about him?” asked Emori.  Clarke sighed. 

 

“He’s been living with his grandmother ever since his mom died, and he’s applying to colleges here.” 

 

“International student,” said Monty, “So he’s a bit older than you.”  Clarke shrugged. 

 

“If he gets a good scholarship in the program he wants, he’ll get a Masters in history, maybe even a PhD.” 

 

“Sounds like a  _ nerd _ ,” grinned Raven.  Clarke’s blush deepened. 

 

“Yeah, he is.”  

 

All eyes fell on Raven.  She stared, wide-eyed around the group.  

“What? Zeke is a Catholic guy from Michigan, who likes motorcycles.”  

 

“You barely talk about him to me,” Emori raised her eyebrows. 

 

“I talk to him,” Raven said defensively, turning back to her notes. “But like… about school and stuff like that.” 

 

After a few more lingering comments, the group feel back to studying.  Raven bit her lip. She felt unnaturally shy about mentioning Zeke, and she wasn’t sure why.  Maybe it was this selfish tug to keep him to herself, as her secret friend.   
  


Later at home, she traced the fully healed tattoo on her hip.  It might have been the light, but Raven swore it got darker the more she touched it, as if the contact from her fingers was a touchstone pulling them closer.  She grabbed a marker from her nightstand. Hiking her shirt higher, she wrote on her stomach, cheeks burning at the thought that this was the first time she was writing somewhere other than her arm or leg.  

 

_ You know I have this tattoo as well, right?  _

 

Her skin tickled as he wrote back. 

 

_ Do you like it? _

 

She scoffed. 

 

_ It’s pretty.  _

_ I thought so too.  _

 

Raven turned to write more. 

 

_ But I’m going to Catholic school, so don’t get any more.  I have a hard enough time finding concealer in my shade and i don’t want to waste it covering up your stuff.  _

 

He wrote back on her arm. 

 

_ I go to Catholic school too.  I’ll be sure not to get anything “two inches” above my knees.  _

 

Raven rolled her eyes.  Of course he could tell from her tan lines that she wore her skirt with the hem rolled twice.  But it was more comfortable that way, even if a teacher or two didn’t like it. 

 

_ Save your money for something special.   _

 

_ This is special.  It’s motivation for me to get to those stars we love.   _

 

Raven’s heart warmed.   _ You coming to NASA with me?  _

 

_ Maybe.  Jets before rockets.   _

She would have written more, but exhaustion was making her head heavy. She fell asleep with her thumb touching those stars, happy that she now had a soulmark that wouldn’t wash off.    

 

* * *

  
  


Nothing eventful happened to the group until Jake Griffin died in January, only a week or so after winter break ended.  Wells stood by Clarke’s side during the funeral and Raven stayed with her the night after. 

 

She stroked Clarke’s hair while the girl sobbed against her lap.  Along Clarke’s arm she saw lines and lines of Bellamy’s handwriting, words written in English and another language which she could not decipher.  Raven averted her eyes. His words of sympathy and comfort,  _ hell, probably love too _ , were private, meant for his soulmate.  

 

Clarke’s cries gradually softened until she fell asleep. Raven gently slid out from underneath her, draped a blanket, and snuggled in behind Clarke, inhaling the rose scent of her curls.  Raven wondered several things. 

 

Did Bellamy feel Clarke’s heartache right now? Would Zeke feel Raven’s pain if she ever lost her mother, if the addiction she fought so hard managed to win?  Would he ever write and write lines of comfort, words she wished to hear in person? 

 

She wrote to Zeke, the day after.  

 

_ Have you ever lost someone? _

 

_ My grandfather, last summer.  _

 

Raven nodded to herself, remembering a day months ago when her heart had felt heavy despite being at the beach with Emori.  

 

_ You didn’t tell me. _

 

_ I could feel the sun on your face, I knew you were having fun.  I didn’t want to bother you, and knowing you were happy helped me.  _

 

Raven’s heart pounded furiously.  This exchange was the most intimate that they had ever been.  

 

_ You could have told me, _ she wrote on her calf.   _ What are soulmates for? _

 

_ Raven…  _

 

He paused, and she inhaled sharply.  They hadn’t put a label to their unspoken connection.  Until she just did. 

 

_ Thank you.  I’m alright, but I’ll keep that in mind.  _

 

She exhaled.  So maybe it wasn’t a huge revelation for him.

 

_ I had my pastor to help me through it,  _  Zeke added. 

 

_ What’s he like?  _

 

_ Wise, compassionate.  He’s an honest-to-God great guy, not like the ones they put in the papers.   _

 

Raven smiled.   _ That’s good.   _

 

_ What about you? _ He asked. Who do you have?

 

_ My mom, even though she works a lot.  My friends, who drive me nuts.  _ Raven picked up a fresh pen.  

_ And Sinclair, my old Mathletes coach.   I still see him a lot at his auto shop.  _

 

_ Can he take a look at my bike?  _

 

Raven laughed.

 

_ Yeah, he’d look at any piece of junk.  _

 

_ That’s hurtful, Raven.  You’ve wounded me.  _

 

She laughed harder. 

 

_ Raven, I’ll never recover.  _

 

_ Shush, you’re fine.  _

 

* * *

  
  


“I said no.”  

 

“C’mon, Sinclair! You don’t even have to pay me.” 

 

“You’re still 15, come back next summer and I can give you paperwork.” 

 

Raven, fresh off her first year of straight A’s, huffed.  “I just want to know about car engines. I can do the math; but I’m not making it to NASA without knowing the mechanics.”  

 

Sinclair chuckled, shaking his head.  “You and your ambitions are something else.”

 

He picked up an old rag to dry his hands.  “Okay, come in once a week.” 

 

“No, three times a week,” she fired back.  

 

Sinclair sighed.  “Twice, final deal.” His tone had that hint of sternness that told Raven that he was tired of debate.  “You’re still a kid with a lot of friends. I want you spending time with them, not working.” 

 

“I will,” Raven insisted, “but if I get my shit together now, I can buy a whole vacation for me and my friends when I’m your age.”  

 

Sinclair laughed, tugging Raven under his arm for a side hug.  “I love your peppy attitude, Reyes.”  He caught sight of the cartoon that Zeke had drawn on her elbow.  “Another doodle from your boyfriend?”

 

Raven rolled her eyes. “Just because he’s my soulmate doesn’t mean we’re dating.”

 

“Not yet,” Sinclair raised an eyebrow.  Raven crossed her arms over her chest. 

 

“You’re gonna love him, he drives a motorcycle and he’ll bring it to the shop.”  

 

Sinclair scowled, leaning against a fender.  “Oh, absolutely not!”

 

“Oh, don’t be like that!” 

 

“You aren’t dating some guy with a piece-of-shit Harley who’ll ask me to fix it cheap.” 

 

“You’re all talk now but you’ll love him whenever I meet him,” said Raven stubbornly.  Sinclair paused for a moment, then muttered, “Reyes, I’ll love anyone who makes you a priority.” 

 

The sentiment made warmth swell in Raven’s heart. Sinclair lived alone, no kids, his arms covered in nothing but grease and cuts; nonetheless, he tried so hard for the pluckiest kid from his Mathletes team.  

 

* * *

  
  


_ If there’s one benefit of having rich friends _ ,  Raven wrote,  _  it’s their swimming pools. _

 

She waited for Zeke’s brief  _ hahaha _ before she rubbed the ink off her arm. Well’s deck was optimal for sunbathing  She settled into a chaise longue, watching him and Monty racing each other in the water.  

 

“Raven, Raven!” Emori nudged her, just as she was slipping into a pleasant snooze. 

 

Raven groaned,  the shadow from Emori’s frame blocking her sunlight.  

“What?” 

 

“I have to tell you something.”   Raven lifted her sunglasses as Emori crouched lower. 

 

“I kissed John,” whispered Emori, her face filled with glee.  Raven raised her eyebrows. 

 

“When?” 

 

“Two days ago, after Harper’s birthday party.”    

 

Raven smiled, shaking her head.  “Finally, what took you so long?”  Emori lounged on the chair next to her.   

 

“I wasn’t going to kiss him right away,” she shrugged, “I wanted to really talk to him before we considered dating.” 

 

“I thought you were dating because you wouldn’t stop holding his hand,”  Raven said, chuckling. 

She peered across the pool where Murphy was opening a soda can.  He saw her and Emori sitting close, and his red face could have been caused by either sun or  embarrassment. Raven turned back, and Emori’s cheeks were pink as well. 

 

“How was it?” 

 

Emori giggled.  “Weird, but I liked it.  I couldn’t stop smiling.” 

 

“I’m happy for you.” replied Raven.  Emori cocked her head. 

“You haven’t kissed anyone yet, have you?” 

Raven shook her head, her eyes catching on Wells in the pool.  

 

“Saving yourself for Zeke?” teased Emori.  Raven scowled, putting more sunscreen on her cheeks.  

 

“You make it sound like I’ll just run into his arms whenever we meet.”  

 

“Why not?” Emori raised an eyebrow.  “I know you talk to him a lot, with all the pens you carry around.  And you keep him a secret with the baby wipes you have.” 

 

Raven sighed.  “What I say to my soulmate is no one else’s business.” 

 

Emori grinned salaciously.  Raven threw a towel at her. 

 

“Shut up!” 

 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

 

“I could read your thoughts.”  

 

Emori laughed, and her expression softened.   “Sorry for pushing, I know some people are sensitive about their bonds.” 

 

“You’re fine, you’re my best friend.” 

 

Raven smiled as she rose, the sun too blistering to enjoy.  She jumped into the water at the deep end of the pool, submerging herself with her thoughts.  

 

Did she want to wait? 

 

Her yearning for the stars mattered more than a desire for romance at the moment.  But that could change. She came up for air, pushing strandings of hair out of her eyes.  Murphy and Emori had joined Wells and Monty in the water. Clarke was sitting at the edge, smiling more than she had in months.  Raven’s heart warmed. She did not need romance right now, not when she had studies and friends. 

 

When she dived under again, she felt a familiar pricking sensation on her side.  She swam to the shallow end of the pool as the feeling increased. When she pulled herself onto the ledge, she saw a small, black cross tattooed against her ribs.  

 

“What will your mother think of your Catholic boy getting all this ink?” joked Wells. 

 

Raven sighed, her cheeks turning redder. “Hopefully she’ll never find out.”  

She touched the cross and felt the same heat pulsing from the mark as the stars. 

 

_ Why the cross?  _  She asked him after. 

 

_ To help me stay on the right path.  _

 

Raven kept his words on her arms for hours, only washing them off to join her mother for Sunday morning Mass.

 

* * *

 

Sophomore year rolled in with transfers from Polis High.  Raven watched with interest as Harper chatted with the new student whose locker stood next to hers.  He had closely cropped hair, like Wells but light in complexion, which he covered with a green beanie.  

 

“Mr. Pike is going to yell at him for that hat,” she murmured.  

 

Monty chuckled.  “He’s...cute.” 

 

Raven nudged him with her shoulder. “Then go talk to him!” 

 

Monty rubbed the back of his neck.  “Nah.. he probably will think I’m weird.” 

 

“You are weird. Your platonic soulmate writes to you when he’s high,” said Raven, raising an eyebrow.  Monty laughed. 

 

‘You think that’s a good icebreaker?” 

 

“It’s worth a shot.” 

 

The bell jolted them from their conversation, and they started walking to class. 

 

“His name is Nathan but he goes by his last name Miller,” said Harper, falling in step with Raven.  “And yes,” she added, looking at Monty, “I already invited him to have lunch with us today.” Raven chuckled, watching Monty’s chin dip as Harper sprinted off towards her English class.

 

“How’s Jasper doing?” 

 

“He’s good, he keeps telling me about the video games he wants us to play together when we meet.” 

 

“Any idea when that will be?” 

 

“We’ve got two ideas.  We either take a gap year after high school and drive to the same place, or we apply to the same colleges and cross our fingers.”  

 

They sat down in chemistry class, Raven frowning with her brows creased.  Neither of Monty’s options would work for her. She wanted her counselor’s help with school applications, not willing to flounder with them a year after graduation.  And she didn’t know where Zeke was going to college, or if that was even his plan. 

 

She laughed to herself, imagining her mother’s reaction to her choosing a college based on a boy.  

 

_ “You’re there to succeed for yourself, not some pendejo,” Maria Reyes would say, waving a spatula for emphasis.   _

 

A boy wearing a beanie dropped his bag into a seat diagonal from her.  Raven poked Monty in the side with a pencil and grinned. 

 

Nathan Miller was taking this class with him.  

 

* * *

 

 

Raven’s 16th birthday fell on a Saturday, and her friends descended on her house with pizza, soda, and Twister.  After the boys left around 9pm, the girls unpacked nail polishes, foam hair curlers, and other assorted beauty products to put a finishing touch of indulgence on the night.  Raven adored the casual simplicity; last year’s quinceañera was a glitzy affair with some of her distant relatives, but among her friends, she felt like that overwhelming spotlight did not exist.  

 

“How’s Gaia?”  Raven asked Harper, shutting her eyes and enjoying the sensation of Clarke braiding her hair. 

 

“She’s doing good.  She had a fight with her mother but she says that they’re reconciling well.” 

 

“Nice to hear,” murmured Raven. 

 

“Has anyone seen the nail buffer?” Emori chimed in from the fluffy seat in the corner.  Raven found it underneath her arm and tossed it over. 

 

“So.. five months until Bellamy comes to the US, Clarke?” she teased, knowing if she turned around, she’d see a blush on Clarke’s cheeks. 

 

“August 24th is orientation at William and Mary. Believe me, I’m counting down the days,” replied Clarke. 

 

“What was it like, realizing how far away you were from him?” asked Harper.  Clarke chuckled. 

 

“Well, trust me, Bellamy was a bit annoyed at first..” she clipped up a section of Raven’s hair, “... having some little, well-to-do American girl for a soulmate.  He called me ‘Princess’ a lot, and still does sometimes.” 

 

“Zeke calls me ‘busy girl’,” Raven interjected softly, smiling when she caught Emori’s wink.  

 

“But we started talking more, “ continued Clarke, “And we found so much in common.  He listens whenever I need to vent, he tells me about the stuff that makes him anxious.  I just really want to meet him.” 

 

“Do you think you’re in love?” asked Raven.  

 

Clarke sighed, coming her fingers through the bottom layer of Raven’s hair.  “I think I am, he’s such a thoughtful person. But before he got his acceptance letters, I had to come to terms with the possibility that I might not see him for several years.”  She started another braid. “He was the first person I came out to, and he said that he wanted me to be happy.” She picked up a hair-tie from the pile on her lap. “We agreed that neither of us had to stay away from love, no pressure to be a nun,”  she joked, tying off the braid. 

 

“Is that why I’ve heard a rumor about you and that girl on the track team?” asked Emori, quirking an eyebrow.  Clarke smirked. 

 

“I don’t kiss and tell.  But my dad passed a month after, and she wasn’t able to support me through that.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Harper said gently.  Clarke shrugged. 

 

“It was just a fling.  We barely got to third base. “ She finished up Raven’s braid. “But I’ve already figured out what I like down there, so I can wait a few more months for Bell.” 

“Well, a couple years for the sexy stuff, since he’s over 18,” Harper reminded her, and they dissolved into light-hearted bickering.  Raven faded out of the conversation, rubbing the small tan line on her left index finger. Zeke wore a ring there for some reason, she had never asked him.  Was it religious? She was so deep in thought, rehearsing how to ask him, that she didn’t notice the prickling on her shoulder. 

 

“Raven…” Clarke said softly, pushing the elegant braid over Raven’s shoulder.  “I think Zeke is getting another tattoo.”

 

The prickling sensation increased.  

 

Raven winced, stepping off the bed and crossing over to the mirror hanging on her door.  The girls huddled around her as she pulled down the thin straps of her tank top to expose her upper back. 

 

Wings.  He was finally getting his wings. 

 

Feathers were intricately inked on her shoulder blades, sloping down her spine and curling at her ribcage, hugging his cross.  The tops of her shoulders were covered down to a spot two inches above her elbows. 

 

The girls sat, transfixed for ages as the design slowly took shape.  

 

“It’s like angel wings,” breathed Harper.

 

“But why is he getting this one?” asked Emori. 

“Whoever’s doing the tat, they left a blank spot right in the middle,” said Clarke. 

 

Raven craned her neck again as words appeared a few inches below the nape of her neck.  “What does that read? The letters are backwards,” she mumbled, watching yet another symbol emerge below them.  

 

“Death Before Dishonor,” Clarke read out in a whisper, “And that’s the Air Force symbol below it.” 

 

Raven felt like her heart had sunk deep into her stomach and then rose again too quickly into her throat.  She was a diver experiencing the bends and she could not breathe. 

 

“Did he tell you he was joining the military?” asked Harper, her hand reaching over to grasp Raven’s.  Raven shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. 

 

She was angry, that she had told him everything for years, and he hadn’t bothered to give her a warning for this.  She was sad, that this meant he would be further away from her and harder to reach. And she was scared that maybe this meant that she might not ever meet him, that she would lose him before truly finding him.  

 

Her tears fell down her cheeks before she could stop them.  Her hands were shaking too much to even pick up a pen. She sank down, letting Clarke cradle her head in her lap.  Her tactile hands undid the braids she had made while Harper soothingly rubbed Raven’s calves and feet. 

 

“It’s alright, you can talk to him tomorrow,” Emori said softly. “You’ll figure this out.” 

 

Raven was too exhausted to say anything else.  The clock glared 2:21am. She blearily rubbed her eyes and collapsed into her bed, three sleeping bags huddled close together. The girls whispered as the lights turned off, trying to change the subject to something lighter.    

 

Listening to soft murmurs, Raven fell asleep with tears soaking the soft fabric of her pillow.  

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want us here?” asked Emori over breakfast the next day.  Clarke and Harper looked to Raven, waiting for her response. 

 

She sighed, pushing away her half-eaten pancakes. She had already showered and dressed, feeling the need for stability.  “No,” she said after a pause, “I have to be alone with him.” 

 

Her friends exchanged cautious looks with each other, but gradually they cleared dishes and left her house. 

 

“You have my phone number if you want to talk,” said Clarke, hiking her bag up on her shoulder. 

 

“Mine too,” added Harper. 

 

“And I’m right next door,” said Emori, the last one to leave.  When the house was still and silent, Raven flopped down on the couch.  She picked up a marker, bitterness rising in her throat. 

 

_ When were you going to tell me that you enlisted? _

 

The question was harsh against the length of her forearm.  She waited for five minutes, but no words appeared. He was probably sleeping, or in the middle of a drill.  She gritted her teeth, finding chores to avoid checking her arm. She switched the laundry and put in another load.  She folded the clean clothes and tidied the kitchen so everything would be clean when her mom came home from her overnight shift.  

 

There was a tickling sensation on her arm.  Her eyes snapped to it. 

 

_ I didn’t know how to tell you.   _

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

_ A simple “Hey Raven, flight school didn’t work out” would have been fine.  _

 

His response came quicker this time.

 

_ This is just a step, I’m not making it a career.  _

She wrote back entirely too fast. 

 

_ Bullshit, there’s a war going on! _

 

She bit her lip, struggling to rewrite what she meant.  

_ I’m sorry.  I know you’re a pacifist. But it’s dangerous, and I’m scared for you.  _

 

Admitting the truth released some of the tension in her chest.  

 

_ You don’t have to be, I just finished boot camp.  I’m in technical training now. _

 

_ When do you ship out? _

 

_ I don’t know, but not for a few months at least.  _

 

Raven exhaled.  She could do this, thousands of people did.  But when those families got a flag and a knock on the door, she would get nothing but dulled tattoos and a void on her skin that words used to fill.  

 

Maybe that was just the pessimist in her. 

 

* * *

 

Her stress gradually dissipated, but she noticed that Zeke opening up far more.  How he graduated high school at 17 by skipping first grade, keeping his little brother out of trouble, how he got his first tattoos done at his cousin’s parlor. 

 

She spent the bus ride to New York sharing headphones with Emori and complaining to Zeke about reading King Lear for English.  She only stopped writing long enough to unpack her bag in the hotel room. 

 

“You’re going to run out of ink halfway through spring break,” teased Clarke, setting her sketchpad on the nightstand.  

 

“So will you,” said Raven, sitting on their bed and rubbing her shoulder.  She had learned months ago that the tattoos would fade to white if she didn’t touch them regularly.  Trailing her fingers across her back now, she felt the wings come alive, like a warm blanket draped over her shoulders.   

 

She sighed, tilting her head back against the pillows.  

 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” asked Harper.  Raven cocked an eyebrow. 

 

“Does Gaia have a tattoo?” 

 

Harper took off a thick bracelet and pressed a thumb to her wrist.  A peace sign appeared, inked in shades of red and pink with a hint of white.  

 

“That’s pretty,” Raven said, smiling as she turned to Clarke.  “What about you?” 

 

Clarke unbuttoned the top of her blouse and pressed her fingers on her collarbone.  A crescent moon and a line of navy blue script appeared, a word in that same indecipherable language Raven had seen before.    

 

“Mayari?” she asked, knitting her brow. 

 

“One of the Filipino goddesses. Bellamy’s favorite,” explained Clarke. 

 

“It’s beautiful calligraphy,” said Harper.  Clarke smiled shyly.

 

“When I was eight, my dad gave me a calligraphy set for my birthday.  I practiced it on my arms, and that was the first time Bellamy and I talked without being mean to each other,” she laughed. “Then he told me that he was getting this tattoo, and he wanted it in my handwriting.” Her eyes softened. “I’ve never written anything so carefully in my life.” 

 

“That’s sweet, I’m glad you’re going to meet him soon.” 

 

“Will you drive up with me to William and Mary?” asked Clarke. “We could make a fun trip out of it.”  

 

She turned to Harper, but Harper shook her head.  “I have plans at the end of August.”

 

Raven looked around their room. “One adventure at a time, Griffin.  I’ll come with you if Sinclair gives me the time off.,” she smirked.  “Once Emori is done in the bathroom, I’m putting on makeup for this restaurant we’re going to.” 

 

“I’M ALMOST DONE!” Emori called from the bathroom a few moments before opening the door and rejoining the group. 

 

* * *

 

Mr. Lemkin chaperoned them around the MET, but Raven and company knew a thing or two about slipping away from figures of authority.  In pairs they managed to split off from the rest of the class. 

 

Raven and Wells wandered into a Baroque exhibit, elaborate paintings hanging against velvet red walls.   “Wow,” breathed Wells, his gaze transfixed on a gilded harpsichord. “ _ Bartolomeo Cristofori _ . I have to write that one down.”  He patted his pockets, but his notepad had been left at the hotel.  “Raven, can I borrow one of your markers?” 

 

She grinned, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a silver Sharpie.  “Knock yourself out.” 

 

He starting writing across his knuckles, looking at the card beside the display.  Raven turned, and at the other end of the room was a girl about their age, staring at the back of her hand.   Raven peered back at Wells, who was still writing. Raven looked at the girl again and saw her holding her hand up, angled against the light.  

 

“Hey Wells,” she murmured, tugging his sleeve.  “What did you tell me Maya looked like?” 

 

“Uh, she’s white with dark brown hair.”  

 

The girl at the end of the room matched his description.  Raven bit her lip, deciding to take a leap. 

 

“Maya Vie?” she called out, her voice echoing in the mostly empty chamber.  The girl turned, removing her earbuds as her eyes focused on Raven. Wells let out a soft gasp.  He took a step forward, raising the hand on which he had been writing. 

 

“Wells? Is that you?”  Maya said, barely over a whisper as she closed the distance between them.  Raven watched them interact, her heart fluttering as they brushed hands. Mara reached up to touch her face, and Wells grinned.  They embraced each other, swaying back and forth with light laughter in the air. 

 

Raven was about to meander to the paintings across the wall when Maya’s eyes made contact with hers. 

 

“You must be Raven.” 

 

“That’s me,” she said, feeling deja vu tugging at her chest.  

 

Maya was sweet, Raven’t couldn’t lie.  At dinner, Maya had everyone’s attention, with Clarke fuming that she had gotten into an argument with some prick over Van Gogh and therefore wasn’t there to witness Wells meeting his soulmate.   Raven drifted out of the conversation, as she habitually tended to do. 

Her fleeting crush on Wells had come and gone, so she didn’t feel jealous.  She did envy them though, as she envied Emori and Murphy. The ability to manifest that easy, inherent connection to each other with physical intimacy.  

 

Would Zeke immediately start touching her hand, the small of her back, like Wells had with Maya? Or would he be more reserved, like Murphy was with Emori?

 

Raven later left the ongoing party in Wells’ hotel room, citing a headache.  She collapsed on the bed she shared with Clarke, her arms curled around a pillow.   All the soulmate buzz of the past two days left her wanting hers. Her fingers slowly slid down her stomach, tracing the lines of the stars on her hip.  Her imagination wandered, wondering if Zeke’s hand trailed across those stars whenever he - 

 

She rolled over immediately, cutting off that train of thought.  Good Catholic boys didn’t touch themselves, but military boys were shameless flirts.  She felt a sick feeling in her stomach that she might wake up with a hickey that someone had given her soulmate.  _  But that’s ridiculous _ , she thought to herself.  She couldn’t pressure him to stay chaste.  

 

She knocked her head back into the pillow.  Maybe it would be easier if she could hear his voice.  But her “emergency only” flip phone charged by the minute.  She could ask him if he had e-mail, but what was the point if they had literal instant-message on their skin?  Her brows shot up with an idea, and she reached for a pen. 

 

_ We can mail stuff like pictures while you’re in training, right?  _

 

He wrote back after a minute.  

 

_ Yeah, I was waiting on you to make that decision.   _

 

Raven felt a tinge of guilt, they could have been exchanging things for years while he lived in Michigan.  She shook off the thought. 

 

_ So if I gave you an address, you could send me a couple photos and I’d use the return address to send some to you? _

 

_ Yeah, that would work. _

 

Raven bit her lip.  Her mother would be a little alarmed receiving something from the military in the mail, and she wasn’t quite ready to break the news about Zeke being a soldier yet.  There was someone who knew however, somewhere that Raven was often enough to receive a letter. 

 

She was scribbling down the address as Clarke walked into the room.  

 

“Hey, are you feeling alright?” asked Clarke as she took off her shoes. 

 

“Will you sketch me?” Raven blurted out.  Clarke’s brows shot up. 

 

“You want to model for me?” 

 

“I want a drawing of my face that I can give to Zeke,” she clarified, letting out a sigh. “It’s been years, it’s time for me to do something more than wait for  _ destiny _ to bring us together.”  

 

Clarke shrugged.  “We could take some photos, those might last better.” 

 

Raven shook her head.  “My mom loves our photos, and I don’t want to wait for film to develop.”  

 

Clarke opened her sketchbook, thumbing through the pages.  Raven caught sight of a freckled boy whom she did not recognize. 

 

“I’ll do a fresh one, I don’t want to part with the few of you that I have,” said Clarke decidingly, reaching for her pencils. “Black and white?” 

 

Raven nodded.  “You don’t have to do it right away, it’s getting late.” 

 

Clarke laughed. “You made it sound like a rush order.”  She turned on another lamp and made a few sweeping strokes on the paper.  “I’ll do an outline and we can finish it later.” 

 

Raven nodded again, sitting up high and posing with a smile.  Harper and Emori came back a few minutes later. 

 

“What are we doing?” asked Emori. 

 

“Raven wants me to sketch her for Zeke. This is a soulmate crisis,” said Clarke, not looking up from her drawing. 

 

“THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS!”   
  
  


* * *

 

 

Raven was elbows deep in the engine of a pick up truck when she heard the familiar, soft clunk of Sinclair’s door shutting. 

 

“Reyes!” he called out. 

 

“Yeah?”  she answered, twisting a screw.  

 

“Why did I get a letter with military stamps,  addressed to you?” 

 

She sprung up so quickly that she nearly hit her head on the hood of the vehicle.  “It’s from Zeke, he’s joined the Air Force.” 

 

“I know that, you told me weeks ago,” he raised an eyebrow at her.  “Why did you give him my address?” 

 

Raven stared back at the engine, slightly ashamed.  “Because I haven’t told my mom yet that he enlisted.” 

 

“Why the hell not?” 

 

“I don’t want her to worry about me, she already does enough.” she said, squaring her shoulders.  

 

“Raven,” Sinclair’s voice softened. “It’s okay to let people in.  You don’t have to put up a wall between you and your mom because you think you know what’s good for her.”  He looked at the underside of her arm, where a black star had appeared. “Besides, you can’t hide your boy’s tattoos for much longer.” 

 

Raven sighed. “I’ll tell her soon, I promise.” 

 

Sinclair nodded, peering at the clock.  “You shift ends in five minutes,” he said, waving the letter.  “Do you want to take off early and see what your boyfriend sent you?” 

 

Raven grinned, closing the hood and taking the letter with a quick hug.   She barely registered Sinclair’s soft jab as she biked through the back roads for fifteen minutes, coming up to Clarke’s house.  

 

“His letter came today!” she shouted gleefully as Clarke opened the door.  

 

Clarke smiled, “Everyone’s in the living room.  Let’s see it!” 

 

Her friends huddled close to Raven as she examined the envelope.  

 

“Wait a second, is his name not Zeke?” asked Monty, pointing to the return address where  _ Miles “Z” Shaw  _ was printed.  Raven furrowed her brows. 

 

“All he ever said was that Ezekiel was one of his names… must be his middle one.” 

 

“He probably never told you cause Miles is a lame name,” said Emori.  

 

“And he put the “Z” in there so you wouldn’t freak out,” added Murphy, making the group chuckle.  

 

“Oh shush,” murmured Raven, opening the letter.  Two photographs fell out with a scrap of paper. She looked at the handwriting, so familiar to her that she felt her heart quicken.  

 

_ This was a good idea.  Hope I get your photos soon, busy girl.  - Zeke  _

 

Raven picked up the first photo.  Zeke was sitting on the hood of a Humvee, clad in boots, camo pants, and a tan t-shirt that pulled tight across his chest.  He was wearing sunglasses, and his smile lit up the picture. 

 

Wells wolf-whistled, and the group laughed again. 

 

“Raven’s got a pretty one,” teased Harper. 

 

“Are we surprised?” asked Murphy. 

 

“Shut up you guys,” muttered Raven as she took out the other photo.   “Oh my God,” she clapped a hand over her mouth as her friends let out more raucous cheers.  

 

This photo had Zeke and one of his buddies in a silly pose, both shirtless.  His stars, cross, and wing tattoos were visible, making Raven’s cheeks warm. He wore no sunglasses in the second picture, and she wished he was a little closer to the camera.  Her thumb ghosted over his letter, wanting to see the myriad hues in her brown eyes. 

“Sign me up for the next war,” joked Monty, stirring her from her thoughts.   She pushed his shoulder affectionately. 

 

“You be quiet, you’re trying to score a date with Miller.”  She looked up to Clarke. “I have an address for that sketch now.” 

 

Clarke smiled, pulling her sketchbook from her bag.  “I tried to make it photorealistic,” she shrugged, hanging it to Raven.  “I hope it’s good enough.” 

 

“It is,” Wells reassured her.  “It’s spot on.” 

 

Raven nodded in agreement.  Clarke had captured the sparkle in her eyes and the rosy glow in her cheeks through some artistic witchcraft.   “Thank you again,” she said, carefully tucking the sketch into a folder. Clarke smiled. 

 

“You’re driving with me to William and Mary?”  

 

Raven nodded.  “Of course, he needs my seal of approval.” 

 

“Mine too,”  said Wells. Raven stared at the folder in her hands.  Her heart thrummed with anticipation. She hoped he would like it. 

 

Later she pulled out a marker from underneath her bed. 

 

_ Got your photos today….. MILES _

 

_ You like ‘em?    _

 

Her cheeks warmed. 

 

_ You’re pretty cute. _

 

_ Flattered, can’t wait for yours so I can say likewise.   _

 

Raven bit her lip, something still nagging her mind.  

 

_ I feel weird, calling you the wrong name all these years.   _

 

_ You didn’t.  It’s your nickname for me.    _ Her heart warmed. 

 

_ I’m sorry I never told you.  _

 

_ You’re forgiven. _

 

* * *

  
  


“We’re here,” Raven said in a sing-song voice as Clarke pulled into the visitor parking lot.  

 

“I’m a little nervous,” admitted Clarke, unbuckling her seat belt. 

 

“What, us being high schoolers, just casually walking onto a college campus?” 

 

“We could say we’re here on an early tour,” countered Clarke.  Raven tilted her head. 

 

“Okay, how do you explain being 17 and meeting your - wait, did he  _ already _ turn 20?” 

 

Clarke’s cheeks reddened, a common occurrence whenever Bellamy was brought up.  “Shush, let’s just see if we can find him without me telling him that we’re here.” 

 

Raven rolled her eyes.  Even if Clarke had a postcard from him tucked into her wallet, how were they going to find one guy on a campus with hundreds milling about, the day after orientation, no less? 

 

Ten minutes later, it turned out that Raven was wrong for one of the rare occasions in her life.  

 

Because there, sitting beneath a tree, was a young man who could only be Bellamy Blake.  

Clad in a blue T-shirt and cargo shorts, he was reading Ovid’s  _ Metamorphoses _ , his glasses nearly hidden by a shaggy mess of dark curls.  

 

Raven nudged Clarke, pointing her towards the boy under the tree. “Is that your nerd?” 

 

Clarke’s jaw dropped, her chest falling up and down in a rapidly ascending tempo.  “Yeah, yeah, that’s him,” she said, barely more than a whisper. Raven pushed her forward. 

 

“C’mon, find your voice.  Don’t make me do it.” 

 

Clarke took a step forward and a deep breath.  “Bellamy?” she called out tentatively. The nerd looked up, his brows knitted as he tried to recognise her.   His eyes widened, and his lips parted in disbelief. 

 

Clarke waved, his class schedule smudged on her wrist. 

 

“Clarke?” he asked, his eyebrows disappearing into the fringe of his hair.  Clarke beamed, running to him and flinging her arms around his shoulders. Bellamy barely stood up in time to catch her, but he laughed as his hands wound around her waist.  

 

He was shorter than Raven expected, but still broad-shouldered, his tawny skin smothered in freckles. After a few moments, Bellamy lifted his head from the crook of Clarke’s neck, his fingers lost in her hair.  

 

“You must be Raven.” 

 

Raven let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “How does everyone know who I am when they meet me?”

 

Clarke let go of Bellamy, and seeing them side by side, Raven had to admit that they made a striking couple.  “You’re a genius, Raven. It’s hard not to talk about you,” she said, shrugging. 

 

Raven rolled her eyes. “Can your nerd take us to lunch? I’m starving.”  

 

Bellamy chuckled, putting his book away and picking up his bag.   He led them to the dining hall, hand clinging to Clarke’s. Raven knew from the look of elation on her best friend’s face that this boy was the one who had etched Greco-Roman myths and Islander legends onto her skin for the past decade or so.  She felt that familiar tug of envy in her gut, but she ignored it. 

  
  


“Take this,” Bellamy pressed a tin into Raven’s hand as he walked them back to Clarke’s car, the afternoon sun dipping towards the horizon.  “My lola insisted on making yema to help me make friends.” 

 

“Egg yolks?” Raven asked, uncertain as she opened the tin.

 

“It’s candy, they just look like yolks,” he chuckled.  “Hope they still taste good after 18 hours on a plane.”  

 

“I’m sure they will be great,” she said, reaching to shake his hand.  But Bellamy stepped in and gave her a soft hug instead. 

 

Okay, Clarke’s soulmate is a hugger. Noted.

 

She settled into the passenger seat, watching Clarke say goodbye to him. 

 

She kissed his cheek after another embrace, both of them parting ways with sad eyes and flushed cheeks.  Clarke sat with her key paused in the ignition, watching him disappear back onto the campus. 

 

“Well, what did you think?” teased Raven.  “I definitely approved.” 

 

“Oh, I wanted to stay and argue with him more,” whined Clarke softly as they turned back onto the highway. 

 

“I thought you already argued with him. Constantly.”

 

“Yes, but it’s better when I can really see how passionate he gets about history.” 

 

“So is he everything you hoped for?” asked Raven, cracking open the tin and popping a piece of yema into her mouth. 

 

“Everything and better,” sighed Clarke. “He’s so warm and I love his voice.”  

 

“It is indeed deep and melodic,” nodded Raven.  

 

“He isn’t perfect, I knew that going in, but he’s got the kind of flaws that just make me roll my eyes and laugh.”  She looked to Raven briefly before turning her eyes back to the road. “Even without the bond, I think we’d work well together, and that’s the best feeling.” 

 

“Ugh, stop being so cute,” groaned Raven, licking sugar off her fingers and reclining her seat.  After approximately one CD of the Backstreet Boys making its round on the stereo, a message appeared on Raven’s arm.  

 

_ I got your letter today, busy girl.   _

 

“He got the pictures!” she yelled excitedly, searching for a pen.  In the end she had caved to her friends and included one of Monty’s Polaroids, her eating ice cream on the pier during the New York school trip. 

 

_ I’m happy to hear that _ , she wrote. 

 

_ The ice cream one is pretty cute.  _

 

_ Strawberry’s my favorite.  _

 

_ Mine too.  _

 

“Ask him if he liked the drawing,” said Clarke, grinning.  

 

_ Did you like the drawing? _

 

_ Your friend Clarke did it?  _

 

_ Yeah.  _

 

_ I think it’s fair to say that she’s amazing, but I wish I could swap places with her.  _

 

“You’ve got a fan,” she said.  Clarke laughed. 

 

“That’s all you, sweetheart.” 

 

Raven ducked her head, catching sight of Zeke’s next message. 

 

_ Actually they came just in time.  I ship out on my first mission tomorrow.   _

 

Her breath caught in her throat, fingers fumbling around the pen.   

 

_ And I’m guessing there isn’t much that you can tell me.  _

 

_ Afraid not.  But I don’t want you worrying, because you shouldn’t.  _

 

Raven wanted to laugh.  Of course she was going to worry about him.  But there were healthy ways to cope with that feeling.  

 

_ I’ll light a candle for you.  I’ll find the rosary that my tia gave me years ago.  _

 

_ My guardian angel :)  _

 

Raven blushed as she reached to touch the wings on her back, reinvigorating the warmth.  Even relaxed as she was, she bit her lip and wrote again. 

 

_ Just.. check in with me as often as you can.  Draw a star somewhere so I know you’re safe.  _

 

_ Don’t I have enough of those already?  _

 

Raven laughed, running her fingers on the four stars he had tattooed along the side of his -and her- left arm. 

 

_ It’s our thing,  _ she wrote, pressing her fingers along the stars on her hips. 

 

_ Yeah, it is.  _

 

She smiled with glee, watching him write more. 

 

_ You’re right, Raven.  I’ll send you a star whenever I can.  _

She felt something unclench in her chest.  

 

_ Thanks, that means a lot to me.  _

 

_ You mean a lot to me.  _

 

Her breath caught in her throat again, heart pounding. 

 

_ You mean a lot to me too, Zeke.  _

 

_ Tomorrow, I wake up and the real war starts, everything that I’ve been preparing for.  You’re more special than you know.  _

 

Raven felt tears pricking her eyes.  It felt like he was saying goodbye.

 

_ The feeling is mutual.  _

 

She wished she could say something more eloquent, but everything she imagined felt wrong, the words clumsy in her mind where coding and equations ran smoothly.  

 

“Everything alright?” asked Clarke.  Raven sighed, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window. 

 

“Just a little intense,” she whispered.  

 

“I’m here for you,” Clarke squeezed her hand as she turned onto an exit ramp.  “Pizza and music at my place later?” 

 

Raven laughed at their old joke.  “Yeah, pizza and music sounds great.” 

 

* * *

  
  


Junior year started and Raven threw herself into AP Statistics.  She kept her pens off her skin all day, helping Emori with trigonometry and listening to Clarke’s rants about anatomy and physiology.

 

 But every night when she stripped for a shower, she searched her skin for his stars.  Whenever a new one appeared, sometimes accompanied by a joke he had heard from one of his buddies, she sent a star back, along with any jokes she had on hand. 

 

Then she would touch all the faint, white lines on her body, bringing his tattoos to life and creating a warm aura around her, like Zeke was holding her against his chest.  An eagle appeared on her right forearm, and a jet on her left. 

 

Eventually, it became too big of a secret to hide. 

 

“ _ Mija _ , why didn’t you tell me?” her mother asked as they stood in front of a statue of the virgin Guadalupe. Raven put a dollar bill in the metal box and lit a candle.  

 

“I didn’t want you worrying. I know work is stressful for you.”  She blew out the match and sighed. “You... getting through rehab-”

 

Her mother clasped her hand.  

 

“Raven, I always have time for you to talk to me.  I know it wasn’t always that way.” She cupped Raven’s cheeks. “You’re my only girl, and I’m so proud of you.”  She pressed her forehead against Raven’s. “You know I want what’s best for you.” 

 

Raven nodded, feeling a few tears slip as she embraced her mom.  “I’m scared, Mami.” 

 

“I know,” Maria patted her back.  “Your Tia’s rosary is in my dresser, do you want me to pray with you soon?”  Raven nodded again. 

 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

The week after Halloween, Raven’s head ached as she studied for an economics exam.  “I’m never going into business,” she mumbled, turning a page. 

 

“Better find a business nerd to partner with if you want to develop an app,” said Emori, applying mehndi on her left wrist. Raven shook her head. 

 

“Robots in space, not smartphones.  So studying econ is pointless, I don’t need it.” She pushed her notebook away, rubbing her temples.  A few neat letters appeared on her wrist. 

 

_ You around? _

 

She took her pen and scratched it against paper to get the ink flowing again. 

 

_ Yeah, I’m here.  You alright? _

 

_ Yes, I’m on base. I’m safe.  _

 

Raven let out a breath, relaxing against the couch, as she saw him write another message.

 

_ I miss you, if that makes sense.  _

 

Her heart did a flip. 

 

_ It does.  I miss you too. _

__

_ Morale is a little low, things are bleak.  _

 

Raven frowned. 

 

_ Bleak? _

 

_ We’re fine, just stuck in a desert.  No green for miles.  _

 

She looked around the room.  Clarke was flipping half-heartedly through her index cards, a dull look in her eyes. 

 

“Hey Clarke?”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Know how you said you had leftover body paint from Halloween?” 

 

“..Yeah?” 

 

Raven stood up from the couch and stretched.  “You want to take a break and paint on me?”

 

Clarke chuckled, putting her cards down. “Sure, I’ll get them.”

 

Raven unbuttoned her blouse, shrugging it off and adjusting the straps of her sports bra. Emori smiled. 

 

“This for Zeke?” 

 

“For both of us, I can’t focus right now,” she replied, pulling a pillow down to the floor.  Clarke came back into the room with paints, a cup of water, and paper towels. 

 

“You know the drill; if it looks good, I’m taking a picture and putting it in my portfolio.”

 

Raven smirked. “I know.”   

 

“So what are you thinking?” 

 

Raven rubbed the pen ink off her forearms, igniting the tattoos.  “Something green, right here. Nature scene.” 

 

Clarke looked at the landscape hanging over the couch. “How about a valley?” she asked and Raven nodded.  She shut her eyes, leaning back on the pillow as Clarke mixed blues, greens, and white on her palette. 

 

For a while, nothing was heard for the soft music coming from Raven’s laptop.  As Emori wove lines and dots along her fingers in an intricate pattern, Clarke created evergreen trees banking a rushing river.  “I feel like Bob Ross,” she joked, trailing her paintbrush around the tattoos and up Raven’s arm. 

 

A few words appeared in the palm of Raven’s hand.  

 

_ This is sweet of you, thanks.   _

Raven grinned, moving to grab her pen, but Clarke stilled her.  “Don’t move, I’m not done yet.” 

 

Raven groaned.  “Emori, is your hand dry?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Come write on my hand for me.”  

 

Emori laughed, and took the pen, reading the message and writing below Zeke’s words.

_ You’re welcome.   _

 

_ This isn’t Raven’s handwriting, who is this? _

 

She bit back a laugh. 

 

_ It’s Emori.  _

 

_ You’re Raven’s best friend? _

 

_ Yeah, I’m here because Raven can’t move. Clarke is painting her.   _

 

_ That’s what I figured.   _

 

“What are you telling him?” Raven asked, craning her neck to see.  Emori shook her head. 

 

“Nothing,” she said innocently, as she saw Zeke write again.  

 

_ While she’s not looking, what’s something I should know about my soulmate?  _

 

Emori stifled yet another giggle.  

 

_ She’s an extreme workaholic, get ready. _

 

_ I know that. And I am.  _

 

_ Oh, she’s ticklish too.  _

 

_ Really?  :)  _

 

“Emori!” yelled Raven. “Stop talking to him.” 

 

“Yeah, I’m going to need that arm in a few minutes,” said Clarke, reaching for her camera.  “I’d love to do one on your back, Rave. Something with a lot of blues, like Starry Night.” 

 

Raven smiled.  “Sure, let my body be your beautiful canvas.”   

 

Clarke chuckled, dabbing white paint inside the lines of the wings. “I’m honored.”

 

_ I hope that made you feel better.   _

 

_ It did, thanks for taking time out of your schedule for me, busy girl. _

 

* * *

  
  


“Shotgun!” Raven yelled as the group walked to Murphy’s car from the movie theater.  

 

“Just as well!” shouted Wells, “None of us want to sit next to him.”  

 

“Oh your words, how they bruise me, Jaha,” Murphy called out. 

 

Raven laughed.  “Someone’s gotta keep you company when Emori’s ill and stuck at home.”  Murphy rolled his eyes, peering at one of his headlights curiously before getting into the car.  The darkness was broken by rays of neon light streaming through the windows from the strip mall. He pulled onto the main road, Wells and Monty starting a quiet conversation in the backseat with Miller between them.  

 

“So how are you and Emori doing?” Raven asked, smiling slyly.  

 

Murphy huffed.   “Doesn’t she tell you everything?” 

 

Raven shrugged.  “Yeah, but I’ll hear your side.” 

 

Murphy had filled out in figure during their three years of high school, grew a scruffy beard and cut his hair.  Raven was relieved for Emori’s sake that he was handsomer than when they first met. 

 

“We’re doing good, it’s just…” he trailed off and Raven stared at him.  

 

“What is it?” 

 

Murphy checked his rear view mirror and dropped his voice to a whisper.  “She’s … ready to have sex with me.” 

 

Raven bit her lip, forcing herself not to laugh.  “Of course she is. But you aren’t?” 

 

Murphy scowled, drumming his fingers against the wheel.  “No, it’s … I can’t talk about it. Not to my friends yet.  But sex scares the shit out of me, and it sucks cause I want to give Emori everything.”   

 

Raven nodded, realizing that there was far more to John Murphy than she anticipated.  “Whatever it is, you can tell Emori. She loves you,” she said, sighing in relief when his expression lightened.  

 

“Yeah, I love her too.” 

 

“Made up your mind about what you want to do?” she asked, switching the subject. Murphy shook his head. 

 

“Nah, maybe I’ll enlist and go join your army boy.” 

 

Raven stiffened. “Zeke is in the Air Force, it’s different than infantry.”  Her frown turned into a full-fledged scowl. “Why would you do that to Emori?”  

 

“I don’t want to, I just don’t know what my options are,” he said, raising his voice above a whisper.  “My dyslexia makes my grades shit, I don’t have money for college… You and Emori are going to get those big scholarships, what do I have?” 

 

Raven raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Besides white male privilege,” he amended, with another huff. Raven snickered. 

 

“There’s trade schools, community college, just pick something that won’t have her worried about your life,” she said quietly, rubbing the star drawn on her wrist hours ago.  

 

Murphy sobered.  “You’ve got a point, Reyes.”

 

They dropped off Wells at his house, then drove closer to downtown.  Murphy clicked through the stations on the radio. 

 

“Wait, stop and go back to that one,” said Raven, hearing a familiar rhythm.  Murphy raised his brows. 

 

“You like the Violent Femmes?” Alright.” 

 

Raven leaned back in her seat, pressing her fingers on the het tattoo and hoping Zeke could hear her, somewhere.  “ _ Why can’t I get, just one kiss? Why can’t I get just one kiss? There may be some things that I wouldn’t miss- _ ”  Raven sang loud, letting her voice fill the car.  

 

“ _ But I look at your pants and I, need a kiss, _ ” Murphy finished the lyric, bopping his head as the car pulled to a red light.  

 

“ _ Why can’t I get, just one screw? _ ” Raven crooned, sweeping her hand across her shoulder blades.  “ _ Why can’t I get, just one screw? _ ”

 

“ _ Believe me I know what to do _ -”  chimed Murphy. 

 

“ _ But something won’t let me make love to you! _ ” Monty and Miller cried from the backseat. Raven grinned as they sped into the green light.  

 

“ _ Why can’t I get, just one fuck? Why can’t I get just one fuck? _ ” They sang out as Murphy pulled against the curb on Main Street.  Miller and Monty spilled out, still singing along. Raven’s heart warmed, seeing them enter Gina’s Diner with their hands clasped together.  

“ _ Don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at me, _ ” Raven rocked her head back and forth at another stoplight. 

 

“ _ Don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at me _ .” 

 

Murphy was still singing when he crossed the intersection and a speeding car T-boned them on the passenger side.  

 

Raven felt the crash, a shower of broken glass falling on her, and something sharp piercing her lower back before her sight went fuzzy.  There was another, smalling tickling sensation on her arm, but her head hurt too much to open her eyes. Someone was finally calling her name, but she couldn’t do more than groan before passing out.  

 

* * *

  
  


She awoke in a stiff bed with thin sheets, sunlight on her face and a regular beep in her ears.  

 

“How are you feeling?” asked a voice. 

 

“Where am I?” asked Raven as she opened her eyes, though she figured it out pretty quickly. 

 

“Arkadia General,” said a nurse with a soft voice.  Raven looked at her and saw Luna Rivers on her name badge. “You’ve been in an accident, Raven.  But you’re stable now.” 

 

“How do you know my name?” she asked, suddenly remembering that she didn’t have her wallet on her that night. 

 

“The EMTs recovered your phone, your mother confirmed your ID,” luna said, then she gestured to Raven’s arms. “And your soulmate was a little frantic.” 

 

Raven peered down at her forearms. Around the bandages and tattoos, her skin was covered in ink. 

 

_ Raven, Raven are you alright?   _

_ I felt that, what was it?  Are you safe?  _

_ I’m sorry I can’t get to you, I’m 18 miles into enemy territory and I shouldn’t even tell you that.   _

_ Raven I need to know you are okay.  Please send me one of our stars.  _

 

Her heart caught in her throat, and her eyes teared up.  

 

“Don’t worry, I took the liberty of letting him know that you were being cared for,” said Luna. “And I’ll go tell your family that you’ve woken up, if you’re ready for them.”

 

Raven nodded, and Luna left the room with a slight bounce in her wavy hair. 

 

She catalogued her injuries: a bandage wrapped around her head, no doubt a concussion, scrapes and bruises along her arms, though they shouldn’t damage the tattoos printed on Zeke’s skin.  There was a dull ache in her lower back, that was probably the worst injury. Her arms were fine, but they hurt. Her right leg was fine, but it hurt. 

Raven paused, trying to move her left foot. But she felt nothing, and that scared her more than the pain.  Before she could try again, the door opened, and her mother came in, followed by Sinclair. 

 

“Oh  _ mi amor _ , I was so worried,” said Maria, settling into the seat.  “You didn’t come home last night, I got the call at midnight.”  Her eyes were red, and Raven could see the rosary she had gripped in her hand.  

 

“It’d take an atom bomb to knock you out, Reyes,” said Sinclair, his forced smile betrayed by the exhaustion on his face.  

 

“The bomb wouldn’t survive me,” she said, managing a grin.

 

Maria smoothed her hair away from her face, over the bandage.   “How do you feel?” 

 

Raven felt a lump rise in her throat. “Not right.” 

 

Maria and Sinclair’s eyes widened in alarm, and at that moment, a white lab coat appeared at the door. 

 

“I’m Doctor Griffin,” said Abby, smiling at Raven. “We’ve met before.”  

 

“Is Murphy OK?”

 

Abby nodded, “John’s fine.  Clarke and the others will visit you both this afternoon.”  Her expression hardened slightly as she looked at Maria and Sinclair.  “But I’m afraid his injuries are not as bad as hers.” 

 

“What’s wrong?” asked Maria, holding onto Sinclair for support with one hand and clutching her rosary in the other.  Raven glimpsed her mother’s 3 year chip nestled within the beads. 

 

Abby sighed. “When the EMTs pulled you out of the car, there was a piece of metal embedded in your back.  We took it out as careful as we could, but there is nerve damage.” 

 

“Is she paralyzed?”  asked Sinclair. 

 

“Not completely,” Abby slowly pulled back the sheet from Raven’s legs.  “We did the reflex text with both knees. The right one responded fine, but the left… May I?” she asked, and Raven nodded.  

 

She palpated Raven’s left calf, but it felt like someone had stuck a syringe of Novocaine in her knee.  She sat up, wincing slightly as Abby took a reflex hammer and tapped her knee with it. The kickback was weak and slow.  Raven put her hand on her thigh and trailed it down her skin. 

 

“There,” she tapped the spot just above her knee. “That’s where I can’t feel anything.”  Her voice broke on the last word, her partial paralysis finally hitting her worse than the crash.  Tears streamed down her cheeks when she looked up. “Will I be able to walk?” 

 

“Yes,” Abby was firm.  “You’re going to be hospitalized for a few more days and then we can start physical therapy.  Crutches first, and then hopefully we can move you to a brace.” She held Raven’s hand tightly.  “You are a strong girl, this is not the end of the world.” 

 

“Maybe it is,” Raven whispered, turning to Sinclair.  “I can’t join NASA if I’m disabled.” 

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Sinclair stepped closer, “and we’re not going to think that’s in any way true, but let’s get you back on your feet first.”  He rubbed her shoulder affectionately. “Besides, what do you need to spacewalk and fix circuit panels? Arms or legs?” 

 

“Arms,” breathed Raven, sighing in relief as she felt some of her confidence surging back.  

 

“I’ll leave you to rest,” said Abby, turning towards the door.  “And Raven,” she added, “don’t despair, I have so much hope.” 

 

When the door shut, Raven bit her lip, counting to ten as she inhaled. 

 

“It’s okay to cry,” Maria said soothingly, holding her hand.  

 

“But these hospital bills…. My tuition…” 

 

“Don’t worry about that,” Sinclair said firmly. “The guy who hit your friend’s car was drunk.  They arrested him with a DUI, and they’ll throw an assault charge over it. I know a good pro bono lawyer who could get you justice.” He held Raven’s hand tightly.  “And I’m gonna help with the payments, too.”

 

Raven’s brows knitted.  “Sinclair, you’d-”

 

“Yes,” he said emphatically, “Who else do I have, Reyes?” 

 

She bit her lip, thinking about him living above his auto shop, no soulmate or kids.  

 

“I’m so lucky to have you for a dad,” she whispered, her throat closing up.  Sinclair nodded, tears in his own eyes as he kissed her forehead. Maria held onto Raven’s other hand. 

 

“We are going to get through this.  Together.” 

 

* * *

 

Looking back on that chapter of her life, Raven was grateful for her friends who didn’t abandon her.  They took turns bringing her classwork to help her stay ahead. Wells and Monty took her to PT when her mother had work.  Harper and Emori kept her company during her bedrest, keeping her updated on cafeteria gossip. Clarke made glossy photocopies of her paintings for Raven to send overseas, along with a few sketches.  Even Bellamy sent her a hardcover book about women in NASA. 

 

The process was hard.  It ached, it gave her anxiety about her future.  Some days she wanted to throw the blanket over her head and fall asleep for eternity.  Some days she was overwhelmed with how thankful she was for markers and pens. 

 

_ I was in an accident, but I’m alright.  _

 

_ Thank God.  Raven, I was so scared.  _

 

_ Don’t they train you to compartmentalize your fear? _

 

_ They do, but when I felt that pain… everywhere… thank the saints I wasn’t flying.   _

 

Raven bit the inside of her cheek, asking him the question that was on her mind. 

 

_ Your left leg… is it okay?  _

She rubbed her brace, her tool which gave her the greatest grief and the greatest freedom.  

 

_ It’s alright,  _  Zeke wrote back.   _ It’s never felt the same since that day, but I can walk and run just fine.  _

 

Raven let out a breath. 

 

_ I’m glad you didn’t get broken like I did.  _

 

Zeke wrote back so quickly that his normally pristine handwriting was a messy. 

 

_ Please don’t call yourself that, Raven. You are the most brilliant person I’ve ever talked to, and I wish I could be there for you right now.  _

 

Raven sighed, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. 

 

_ But the missions come first.  _

 

_ I’m getting time off in 8 months, but I have to be with my mother, she isn’t doing too well.  _

 

_ I understand, _ Raven wrote back.  

 

It was better this way.  She didn’t want him for two weeks, only for the war to snatch him right back. 

 

* * *

  
  


“He needs to stop avoiding me,” Raven gritted out, her hands shaking on the rails.  This session was hurting more than the others. 

 

“Who? Zeke?” asked Emori, checking Raven’s Algebra II problems. 

 

“No,” Raven turned to her, eyebrows raised. “Murphy.” 

 

Emori’s expression sombered. “Raven, he feels awful about what happened.” 

 

“I feel awful right now,” Raven mumbled, taking another step. “But I don’t blame him for any of this.” 

 

“He blames himself, and I can’t sway his mind.” 

 

“Maybe I can.” said Raven, panting as she finished the set.  “Just tell him that I want to see him.” 

 

Emori looked uncertain, but the next day, she and Murphy showed up to the house.  Raven let them in, feeling the tension creeping in the air. 

 

“I’ll.. make some nachos for lunch, if that’s cool with you,” said Emori, standing with her arms crossed. 

 

“Yeah, help yourself,” said Raven, watching her enter the kitchen.  She turned back to Murphy, waving her hand at the living room. “Well, go sit down.”  

 

She followed him in, not missing the wince he let out at hearing the clank of her brace. 

 

“Raven,” already his voice sounded raw. “I’m so sorry.” 

 

“For avoiding me this whole time?” Raven cocked her head.  

 

Murphy nodded.  “For everything.” 

 

“Apology accepted, even though this wasn’t your fault,” she said, watching him drop his face into his hands. “Murphy, the guy was drunk,” she continued, “why do you feel guilty? Because you weren’t the one who got hurt?” 

 

“No!” Murphy lifted his head from his hands, and she saw how wrecked he looked.  “The headlight was out! My damn headlight was broken, I would have swerved a second sooner if-” 

 

“Murphy, that headlight was barely flickering, and it doesn’t make it your fault! You had a green light and that guy was running a red!” Raven’s volume grew so loud that she nearly stood up.  She took a breath, counting to ten. “We could have died, we’re lucky we didn’t.” 

 

Murphy nodded, rubbing his hand across his face and catching a couple stray tears.  “I’m relieved that you aren’t angry with me.” 

 

“This is absolutely something that I could hold against you forever.  But it’s not worth the energy,” she muttered. 

 

“This just brought back,” he took a gulp, “bad, bad memories of how my mom guilted me.” 

 

“Well, I never met my biological dad, so you cannot claim all of the tragic childhood sob stories,” she said coolly.  Murphy shut his eyes, shaking his head as he started to laugh. Raven smiled; that dark jibe was bringing back the old him.  

 

“My dad is in jail, I can still pull that card out sometimes,” he joked, making her snort.  Aromas wafting in from the kitchen told Raven that Emori was most likely plating their food. 

 

“Alright, Murphy…” she sighed, “hold yourself partially accountable, or not, but please don’t put the full blame on yourself, alright? Not with the culprit looking at some jail-time.”  She stared him down, and he nodded. “You’re my best friend’s soulmate. It’s gonna hurt her if we can’t be around each other.” 

 

“I know,” he said, “just tell me if there’s anything I can do… to help.” 

 

Raven smiled, rising from her seat.  “Get that headlight checked for your own sanity,” she looked at him over her shoulder as she entered the kitchen. “I know a guy.”  

* * *

  
  


Raven was at Arkadia General for a four month checkup when she saw someone new leaving PT. He was a gangly boy with shaggy hair, using a walker.  He made eye contact with her, and his smile was bright and cheery, bordering on plastic. 

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked.  The boy chuckled. 

 

“Oh, like crap. But I’m walking better and that’s all that matters.”  His eyes glanced down at her brace. Raven was getting used to people doing that.  “What happened to you, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

 

“Car accident,” she said simply.  

 

“Oh me too,” he replied, “I got speared with a piece of metal right in the gut.”  

 

“Ouch,” Raven winced empathetically. “I got speared in the back.” 

 

“And it sucks cause I was driving into town to surprise my soulmate. And I’ve been lying to him for the past few days.”  

 

Raven raised an eyebrow, little observations from the past few days computing in her head.  “What’s your name?”

 

“Jasper Jordan, why do you ask?”  Jasper’s brow knitted together. She shifted weight off her brace and grinned. 

 

“Because I’m friends with Monty Green.” 

 

His face lit up, the smile from earlier paling in comparison to his elate expression. “You know Monty?” 

 

Raven nodded. “We’ve been friends for years.” 

 

“Is he happy with Miller?” 

 

“Yes,” she beamed, “They’re sweet, and good for each other.” 

 

She looked at the clock on the wall.  She’d be called in any minute. “If you want to hang around for an hour, you can meet him.  Monty’s picking me up today.” 

 

She didn’t think Jasper’s grin could get any larger.  He sat with her during PT, surprisingly, making her laugh as pain spiked through her hip.  

 

And when she watched Monty embrace him later, their heads pressed together with tearful smiles, hands on each other’s shoulders, she sighed, pressing her fingers to the jet.  

 

_ I seem to have a superpower… or a curse, for finding my friends’ soulmates before they do.  _

 

_ Whose did you meet today? _

 

_ Jasper, for Monty.  Ten bucks I’ll be roommates with Harper’s Gaia next fall.  _

 

_ One more year until you graduate, busy girl, and here I remembered you being so nervous about high school.  _

 

Raven smiled. _  I’m not a little girl anymore.  _

 

_ No, you’re not…   _

 

Her breath hitched, wondering if she was imagining the implications behind that.  She changed the subject. 

 

_ How’s your mom? _

 

_ Doing better,  and it really helped that I was there for her for the whole two weeks.  _

 

_ But now you’re going to be gone for another 18 months?  _

 

It was a question that she asked for his benefit.  He was always gone for her, fate had yet to align their stars. 

 

_ I want to meet you so badly, you have to know that.  _

 

Her heart ached. 

 

_ I do, I want to meet you too. _

 

* * *

  
  


The first semester of senior year flew by before Raven could process it.  The brace became an extension of herself, and the day her classmates didn’t glance at it first was the day she got used to it.  Sprinting still put a strain on her hip. Sitting in the passenger seat ratcheted her adrenaline, and thus she gave shotgun to someone else whenever the opportunity arose.  

 

Gritting her teeth and crying in the counselor’s office, she wrote essay and submitted applications to California Polytech, MIT, and Virginia Tech.  The three letters came within days of each other. 

 

“Go find out with your friends,” said Maria, kissing Raven’s forehead.  “But tell me right away when I come pick you up.” 

 

Her mother had been doing that lately, insisting on driving Raven whenever their schedules aligned.  Raven knew the concern was well-intentioned, and she hoped her mother wouldn’t worry while she was away at school.  

 

Her fingers tapped anxiously against the envelopes as Wells rounded the corner to Clarke’s house.  She had applied to safety schools, but these were the top three. 

 

Their hostess opened the door, her arms covered in scrawled messages and paint splatters. “Let’s see them!” Clarke said as she led them into the living room.  Raven held up her three, and Wells held up two. 

 

Harper and Emori were sitting cross-legged against the couch,  and Monty was in the armchair. 

 

“I’ll go first,”  said Emori, opening up her letter from the Texas A&M Institute.  “And they say…” she said, reading her letter silently. Half a second later, her face split into a grin. “I’m in!” She shot her fist into the air and the group cheered. 

 

“Monty?” asked Wells.  

 

“My mom insisted on knowing right away, MIT wants me,” said Monty, grinning as he waved his open envelope.  

 

“Harper, what about you?” asked Raven.  

 

Harper opened hers.  “Liberty College said yes,” she smiled, her face glowing.  

 

“Okay, my turn,” Clarke opened the letter from William and Mary.  Her eyes flitted back and forth, then she frowned slightly. “They said no,” she shrugged.  “Oh well.” 

 

‘Their loss,” said Wells, opening the envelope from Dartmouth.  He read it slowly, then his lips curled in a gleaming smile. “In, with a scholarship.  Another round of cheering as he opened the second one. He opened the second one and let out a short laugh. “And Harvard said yes too, oh damn.”   He shook his head, hiding his grin as the news brought a few minutes of happy chatter. 

 

Eventually everyone’s eyes fell to Raven.  

 

“C’mon, special girl who’s got three,” teased Harper.  Raven chuckled, opening the one from MIT. 

 

“A waitlist,” she said, looking at Monty. She took a breath before the next one. “California’s a rejection,” she huffed, then her eyes fell on Virginia Tech.  She bit her lip. This school checked the most boxes for her. She opened it with shaking fingers. “Raven Reyes we are  _ pleased _ to inform you,” she grinned, “that you’ve been accepted.”  

 

Emori tackled her with a hug, and a couple of them clapped.  

  
  


“Nothing has slowed me down,” Raven whispered, writing those words on her skin later that night.  

 

_ What a great quote, I might get that as a tattoo.  _

 

She rolled her eyes, rubbing the fifth star he had put on her arm.  

_ Don’t you having enough already? _

 

_ Fair point.  Maybe you could get it.  _

 

She  smiled.   _ If I did, I’d get it in your handwriting.  You’ve inspired me, Zeke.  _

 

_ And you’re the reason I’m still alive.  _

 

Raven inhaled abruptly, then realized he meant it metaphorically.  Her heart pounded, her eyes rereading the words that were dangerously close to an “I love you.”

 

* * *

 

“No, I don’t do speeches!” said Raven, glaring at Wells. “I don’t like more than five people looking at me at once.” She poked him softly in the chest.  “You are going to be the valedictorian.” 

 

Wells chuckled, shaking his head. “Raven, I -” 

 

“I will fail my last English test, on purpose!” she said, giving him a glare as they slid out of the limo. 

 

“C’mon!” said Clarke, shaking out the skirt of her prom dress.  “They’ve already started photos!” 

 

Raven reached for her clutch before shutting the door.  Clad in flats, she adored her scarlet dress, the thigh slit giving her freedom to move and gracefully exposing the leg not held in the brace. She had spent junior prom in the hospital receiving texts from the girls’ group chat of them rating everyone’s looks.  Crowds weren’t her thing, but this? This was nice. 

 

There better not be a marker in there,” Emori said to her, pretty in pink and eying the ruby purse suspiciously. “Tonight is for us.” 

 

“Says the girl bringing her soulmate,” Raven quirked an eyebrow. “Have a heart.” 

 

“I’m only dancing with him during the slow songs,” Emori grabbed her hand. “This is the night we put the books away and let loose.” 

 

Raven smiled half-heartedly, standing between her and Clarke in a group photo.  “I thought they were going to let you bring your nerd,” she whispered. Clarke shook her head. 

 

“Age limit for guests is 21, and he turned 22 last month.” 

 

“Ugh, that sucks,” Raven looped her arm around Clarke, who simply shrugged. 

 

“He’s flying back to the Philippines in 3 days anyway.”  

 

As far as proms went, Raven supposed it could be worse.  The food was decent, the music even better, and her friends were all smiles. She tucked five photobooth strips into her clutch, leaning back in her chair with a sigh.  

 

“Here,” Harper slipped her a pen. “Write to him and don’t let Emori see.” 

 

“I won’t tell her where I got it,” winked Raven, pulling off one of her bangles before uncapping the pen. Just as she touched the nub to her skin, Zeke’s handwriting appeared. 

 

_ Raven, I  _

 

Then he stopped.  Raven waited for a couple minutes, wondering if he was just searching for words, like she often did. Each second felt agonizing.  

 

_ Zeke?  _

 

“Raven!”  

 

Her head snapped up, seeing Monty juggling some glasses of milkshake for the table.  

 

“Help me carry these over.” 

 

Raven stood up, but she hadn’t taken a step forward when a piercing hot sensation shot through her upper arm.  She fell against the table, elbows bracing herself as she clutched her deltoid, feeling something warm and viscous running down her skin.  All of the background music faded to a dull whine in her ears. She stumbled towards the bathroom ignoring the concerned shouts from her friends.  

 

“Zeke, oh my God, Zeke please be okay,” she whispered,  taking a paper towel and pressing it to her arm. It saturated quickly, turning pink, then red. 

 

“Raven!” Clarke had raced in, Harper and Emori hot on her high heels.  “Are you alright?” 

 

“I have to stop the bleeding,” Raven gritted out.  Clarke shook her head. 

 

“Raven, you aren’t bleeding.” 

 

“Yes, I am!”  Raven shouted, tears streaming down her face.  Clarke cupped her face in her hands. 

 

“Raven, look at me, and focus.”  Raven stared into Clarke’s eyes, into the blue so deep she felt she could dive in. “Now look down.”

 

And Raven’s arm, though it ached, had no blood, just a ghostly impression of a bullet hole.  

 

Clarke turned her arm slightly to look at the underside, palpating the skin.  “It’s a through and through. I doubt it even hit bone.” 

 

“He’s a pilot, he shouldn’t be getting shot at,” she whispering, tracing the edge of the wing that had been clipped.  

 

“He’s going to be okay,” whispered Harper.  Emori was shaking her head in awe. 

 

“You thought you were bleeding.  Your bond is incredibly strong.” 

 

Raven went to the mirror, composing herself as she ran cold water over her hands and wiped away twin trails of mascara. A little crowd had formed around them in the ladies’ room, no doubt perturbed by her outburst. 

 

Bree was there, in a slinky grey dress that clashed with her spray tan. “Is your soulmate a gang member?” she sneered, her eyes derisively sweeping across Raven’s tattoos. 

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Emori and Harper snarled in unison.  Raven glared daggers unblinkingly as Bree backed away, nearly colliding into a murderous Clarke. 

 

“All of you get back to dancing,” she snapped, and as the girls filed out, Raven thought that Clarke must have been a rebel leader in some other life.  

 

“Raven,”  Emori pulled her attention, grasping her hands.  “Do you need to leave?” 

 

“Wells can take you home,” added Harper.  “We’ll come too,” 

 

Raven nodded, taking a deep breath as they left the bathroom.  She found Wells at the edge of the dance floor. “Are you alright?” he asked, touching her arm gently at her look of distress. 

 

“I need to go, I’ll explain on the way.” 

 

Wells looked concerned, but he pulled out his cell phone and stepped out of the room.  

 

“Here,” Emori pressed a pen into Raven’s hands. “I’m sorry I was so prissy about this earlier.”  Raven gave her a hug. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Not quite what you expected from prom, huh?” said Harper, handing her the red clutch.  Raven sighed, shaking her head as they walked out of the venue. 

 

_ Are you alright?! Zeke, I felt you getting shot!  _

 

His response did not come until she was back at home, changed into sweats with her makeup washed off, laptop open on her bed. 

 

“What are you looking at?” asked Clarke, taking off her earrings. 

 

“Following up on an idea that I’ve had for a while,” muttered Raven. “There’s an opening for a mechanic apprenticeship at Langley Air Force Base.”

 

“Raven, you’re going to Virginia Tech at the beginning of August.” 

 

“It’s a ten week program, I’d live on the base.” 

 

“What about NASA?”

 

“NASA is a pipe dream!” Raven snapped, “It’d be nice, I could get there. But I need my degree first, that will take years.”  She gritted her teeth, trying to swallow past the lump in her throat.  “He could be dead by then.” 

 

“Don’t think like that,” said Harper.  Raven shook her head. 

 

“I’m not going to sit around and hope that fate brings him to me.” She read through the application on the website.  “I’m getting on that base, and I’m finding out how to contact him, more about his unit if I can.” 

 

“Raven.”

 

“I’m doing this.”

 

“No, Raven!” Emori pointed to her hand on the keyboard.  Raven looked down and saw a star appear, then goner, one more, till the back of her hand was covered with a cluster.  Raven scrambled for a pen. 

 

_ What happened?  _

 

_ The guy I was extracting blew his cover. We got out alright. _

 

Raven shut her eyes, processing how the scenario could have been much worse.  

 

_ Someone patching your arm?  _

 

_ Yeah, it’ll be fine.   _

 

“I’m glad he’s okay,” said Clarke.  

 

“So am I,” whispered Raven, tilting her head back and closing her eyes.  “But I can’t handle another risk like that.” 

 

* * *

  
  


“Absolutely not.” 

 

Sinclair shut the hood of a car, giving her a cold look.  

 

‘Sinclair, it’s just one letter of recom-“ 

 

“I already wrote you one and photocopied it myself.”  He wiped a rag across his heavily lined forehead. “For you to go to school, not join the military.” 

 

“It’s an apprenticeship.”  

 

“And they will hound you, for the rest of your life.”  He threw the rag in his toolbox. “This isn’t just for your resume.  This is for your pilot.” He stared at her, and Raven could never pull off a bluff on him.  

 

“I felt him get hurt,” she said, watching Sinclair sigh and look away.”  “And I know I can’t describe it to you in a way you’d understand.” She bit her lip, looking at his sleeves that he always kept rolled up, though there were never words on his skin.   

 

“No, I get it,” he said softly, “But look at the big picture.  You go to school now, you get in contact with NASA for an internship, that’ll get you out of my shop for the summer. “ He put his hands on her shoulders.  “Five-ten years, after you get hired? You could be the first woman on Mars.” 

 

Raven sighed, letting her head fall against his shoulder.  “You realize how big that amount of glory is, right?” 

 

“You’re worthy of it,” Sinclair said, hugging her. “You’re a genius.” 

 

“Einstein was a genius,” she muttered. 

“I’d pick you over him any day, and twice on Sundays,” he replied, rubbing circles on her back as she leaned into him.  

 

“This is just a step,” she whispered, and she could feel him sigh as they pulled away.  “I know it’s not a path that you want for me.” 

 

Sinclair ran a hand through his hair.  “I want to see you get the respect and accolades you deserve at NASA, not to be part of an institution that - that chews good people up and -“ he exhaled heavily, “spits them out dead or broken.”  

 

“And all I’m trying to do is meet him before he even comes close to reaching that point.”  

 

Sinclair raised an eyebrow.  “You’ve already made up your mind, you’re just here for my blessing.” 

 

She shrugged.  “The letter would help.  And I….” 

 

“Love him?” asked Sinclair.  Raven crossed her arms, her fingers brushing over the spot where Zeke’s cross tattoo was etched underneath her shirt.  Her heart pounded loudly, her brain trying to process a rapid response to his simple question. 

 

“He needs to hear it in person,” she said softly.   Sinclair clapped a hand on her shoulder. 

 

“Finish your shift, I’ll have a letter ready by the end of the afternoon.”  

 

“Thank you so much,” she hugged him quickly, pecking his cheek before grabbing a toolbox and sliding under the chassis of a soccer mom’s minivan. 

 

“I hope he’s worth all this,” Sinclair muttered to himself as he left the garage.  

 

* * *

  
  


“We did it,” said Emori, laying on Raven’s bed , the June heat too sweltering to be outside. “We graduated high school.”

“Yeah,” Raven sat on the bed next to her.  “We did.” 

 

“You did a great job introducing Wells.  And he had a great speech.” 

 

Raven snorted.  “I’m glad I wasn’t the one who had to talk for 15 minutes.”  

 

“He’s gonna be a great senator in a few years.”

 

“Oh, I hope so.” 

 

Emori picked at her nails as Raven stood up and tossed some shirts into her suitcase. “You’re really leaving on Thursday?” 

 

“Yep.”

 

“You think you’ll find what you’re looking for?” 

 

“No clue.” 

 

Emori shrugged.  “You’re gonna miss a lot of parties.” 

 

Raven scoffed.  “Who’s gonna invite me to parties?” 

 

“We will, and you have other friends.” 

 

Raven sat down at her desk.  “I have acquaintances that clapped for me,’ she opened up her laptop. “But I don’t know if they were clapping for me or the fact I was walking to my diploma with a brace under my gown.” 

 

“It wasn’t that much of a Hallmark movie moment,” countered Emori, rolling her eyes.  Raven shrugged. 

 

“I’m ready for the next phase of my life.”

 

She logged into her Virginia Tech email, deleting the first one from the dean which she’d already read.  She opened the newest, the sender’s name catching her eye and making her jaw drop. 

 

“Emori, get over here….” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Just come over and read this.” 

 

Raven grinned as she felt Emori hover at her back. 

 

_ Hi Raven!  _

_ I got the roommate email yesterday that gave me your web address.  I’d love to chat with you as often as possible over the summer before we move in together.  I’m studying Computer Science and I’m planning on joining the Baptist Student group on campus.  I’m from Miami, so I’m looking forward to less humidity!  _

_ Hope you’re doing well! _

_ Gaia Woods  _

 

She had attached a candid photo of her at the beach, arms outstretched over her head.  Raven spotted the familiar red, pink, and white peace symbol on Gaia’s wrist. 

 

“Oh. My. God,” said Emori.  Raven’s grin grew wider. 

 

“That’s Harper’s soulmate.  Zeke owes me ten bucks.” 

 

“I can’t believe this,” Emori shook her head. Raven leaned back in her seat. 

 

“What can I say? I’m gifted.” 

 

“You’ve met the entire group’s soulmates before they did.” 

 

“Well, ‘met’ is a loose term,” Raven gave a slight shrug. “Most of the time I just saw them first, usually in a crowded area, and pointed you in their direction.” 

 

Her fingertips danced across the keyboard, typing out a response. 

 

_ Hey Gaia!  _

_ I just got your message, I’ve been busy with packing for a job I’m doing this summer.   _

_ I’m going to be studying Aerospace Engineering, hopefully taking a handful of programming classes too.  I’ve lived in Arkadia my whole life and I can tell you that it’s definitely less humid than Florida.  _

_ Also, I know this sounds crazy, but Harper McIntyre is one of my close friends.  She has the same peace symbol on her wrist. Isn’t she your soulmate, or is this some crazy coincidence?  If she is, and you don’t have plans to meet her this summer, I can ask her to help me on move in day.  _

_ Have a great summer!  _

_ Raven Reyes _

_ PS: If I don’t write back right away, I’m just super busy.  _

 

“Harper’s going to freak out when you tell her,” said Emori. 

 

“I know, I’m telling Zeke right now.”  

 

But as Raven reached for a Sharpie, words appeared on her arm. 

 

_ Raven - plans got changed. I’ll be back in the states in a few weeks, not sure where they’re sending me. Wanted you to know.   _

 

Her heart stopped as his words sunk into her mind and skin.  He was coming back. This was it. The universe was finally tossing her a chance to catch the brass ring and the stars were inches away from aligning into place.   

 

She took a deep breath as she uncapped her marker.  Now or never. 

 

_ Get yourself to the Langley Air Field.  I’ll be there. _

 

* * *

 

“Reyes, I need you over here!” 

 

Working at Langley was more intensive than Raven was used to, but she enjoyed the break from the books.  While the rest of her workmates went out for drinks at the end of the shift, she stayed back, peering around and acquainting herself with the engines.  

 

Three weeks in, she was on her own, hours late in a mostly vacant hangar, perched on the top of a Humvee, patching up a few bullet holes and tapping out some dents.  She pulled out her ponytail and redid it, touching the wings as she went. It was hot that night, so they sparked into full view underneath her tank top. 

 

She heard heavy footsteps walking in behind her, figuring it was one of the older mechanics checking the vehicle next to hers.  She wasn’t expecting to hear a gasp. 

 

“Raven.” 

 

Her hands stilled. She had never heard that low, gravelly voice before, but she knew right away, exactly to whom it belonged.  Her head spun around, and there he was, Zeke Shaw, standing in uniform at parade rest, but above the military stiffness, there was a look of wonder in his eyes.  

 

“Zeke,” she said in a breathless whisper, sliding down from the top of the Humvee to its hood as he stepped forward.  Before she made the final, and somewhat painful, jump to the ground, he held out his arms to lift her down. 

 

Raven couldn’t help but laugh, her heart spilling over with joy.  After years, she was here in his arms. They rocked in each other’s embrace with a sudden intimacy that only soulmates with hundreds of little talks could have.   

 

“I saw the wings,” Zeke murmured in her ear. “God, they look more beautiful on you.”   

 

She hummed, her face still nestled in his neck.  His scent was new, dizzying, yet comforting as well, carrying a hint of what was likely from the cockpit of his jet.  “They’re my favorite.” 

 

“Let me look at you,” he pulled back from their hug and put one hand on her neck, thumb teasing her ear, while the other hand stayed firm on her hip. He took in all her features, his eyes soft and lips parted; Raven couldn’t help but wonder if this face was one which he rarely let people see.  

 

“I thought the drawing and pictures were cute but,” he exhaled, letting out a soft chuckle.  “God, I was not prepared for you to be this beautiful.” 

 

She felt her cheeks flame.  She laughed softly, tucking some flyaway hairs behind her ears. “I’m… covered in grease marks,” she muttered.  Zeke smiled, gleaming in the flickering, dim light of the hanger. 

 

“Still gorgeous,” he said, touching her chin gently with the back of his hand.

Raven caught the twinkling of a metal chain around his neck.  She reached forward and pulled his dog tags out from underneath his shirt, holding them up to the light.  “ _ Lieutenant _ ,” she said, her approval clear in her smirk, “Miles E. Shaw.”  She shook her head. “I can’t believe your real name isn’t actually Zeke.”  

 

“They don’t exactly customize these, you know,” he joked, slipping them back under his shirt.  “But I always want you to call me that. Especially now when I can hear it.” 

 

She sighed, looking up at the Humvee.  It was overtime and that hunk of metal was in working condition anyway. “This isn’t quite private,” she said, lowering her voice and blushing at the glint in his eye, “and the barracks will be worse.”  Zeke took her hand. 

 

“I know a place where we won’t get bothered,” he said quietly, walking with her out of the hangar and onto the compound. 

 

He flashed his ID at a guard and walked over to a row of vehicles.  Raven grinned. 

 

“Is that the Harley I keep hearing about?”  His grin matched hers. 

 

“Yeah, my buddy brought it down from Michigan when I told him where I’d be.”  He raised an eyebrow at her. “You had a lot of nerve telling me where I should ask my higher ups to send me.”  

 

Raven held up her hands, looking smug. “And yet here you stand.” 

 

He chuckled again.  “It just worked out that this location was better for them anyways.” He tossed her a spare helmet.  “Ten minutes on the off roads, there’s a nice cliff overlooking the ocean. It’s a gorgeous spot,” he said, finishing softly. “But we don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable on the bike.”  

 

She paused, grateful that he was considering her without needing to look at her brace.  After a few moments, she strapped on the helmet. “I’ll be fine. I’ve wanted a ride on this bike for ages.” Her eyes twinkled.  “And so have you.” 

 

He grinned again.  “Then hop on and hold on tight.” 

 

With a guttural vroom, they left the compound and slowly gained speed.  Raven kept her head pressed against his neck, her arms banded around his lithe frame. 

 

The wind picked up as they sped, and she needed to huddle into Zeke’s warmth.  The wind eventually gave way to an ocean breeze, which she felt over the rip of the motorcycle.   The road came to a bend and he slowed, parking his bike off to the side of the dirt. 

 

“Wow,” Raven breathed, stepping onto the grass overlooking the water.  The night was clear, the full moon bright enough to cast shadows. The ocean was a gentle sound, with waves cresting in white peaks around the rocks. 

 

“This isn’t the first time that I’ve been to Langley,” he said, coming up next to her. “Bout a year ago, i was here for a few days, managed to get off the compound and find this place.”  He turned to her. “I knew right away that I wanted to bring you here someday.” 

 

She leaned her head against his shoulder, and his arm wrapped snug around her waist.  For a few minutes, she closed her eyes and breathed, forgetting Langley, Virginia Tech, everything but the sea, the stars, and Zeke.

 

She opened her eyes and gazed up.  WIth no light pollution, she could see hundreds, scattered across the sky.  “They’re all out tonight for us,” she whispered, and she felt him smile against her hair.  When he spoke again, his voice sounded timid. 

 

“Raven… I can’t stay long, and soon I’ll be meeting with some of the upper ranks-” he let out a breath, “to talk about what happened a couple months ago.”  She knew what he meant, rubbing his arm gently. 

 

“Someday, busy girl,” he turned to face her.  “Someday I can face you and say all the things that I’ve done, but…” his face twisted with guilt. “I’m not as good as you hoped.” 

 

“Yes, you are,” she whispered, touching his cheek, “I can see it in your eyes.” They were luminous by the light of the stars, a little teary as well.  His chestnut tone was glowing under the moon. Raven was a scientist but there was no rational explanation for spontaneous words appearing on her skin, tattoos igniting under her touch, or how this moment felt like she was in a pocket of pure magic with her pilot.  

 

“I’ve prayed to God every day to meet you,” he murmured, eyes shut.  

 

“He answered both our prayers,” she breathed back, filled with faith in that moment. A glimmer appeared in the corner of her eye.  She turned to see the trail of a shooting star. 

 

“Make a wish,” said Zeke, holding her close.  Raven looked back at his eyes, then his lips. 

 

“What’s left to wish for?” she asked, her heart racing in her chest.  He shut his eyes again, leaning his forehead onto hers and gripping her hips.  Waiting for her. 

 

And Raven wasted not one moment in claiming her destiny.  She grasped the collar of his shirt and pressed her lips onto his.  The kiss made her head spin, the sensation confusing her, but before she could pull away and fret, his hand came up to cup her jaw and he kissed her deeply.  Everything else dimmed but the sparks bursting from her chest, from the press of his lips and hands to her. He caressed the skin adorned with the wings, and she moaned into his mouth at the electric feeling. 

 

She sighed happily, running her hand over the fuzzy curls on his head.  Someone in the distance let off July fireworks, and she saw the flickering colors from beneath her eyelids, feeling the distant booms in her ears. 

 

Seconds, minutes, or even hours,  she didn’t know how long it was when he pulled away, breathless with beaming eyes.  

 

“I love you,” she said, a warm glow sweeping over her.  Sentiment was never her strong suit but here she was, confessing her love like it was as simple as drawing a star. 

 

“I love you too,” said Zeke as he pulled her close to his chest.  She felt the vibrations of his words against her cheek. And there was his heartbeat, firm and strong.  It was her new favorite sound, even if it had strong competition from his voice and his laugh. 

 

“Five years from now, let’s be at NASA together,” she whispered as they laid down together in the grass.  

 

He pushed her hair back from her face, cupping her cheek for another soft kiss.  “If the stars will it so.” 

 

Raven snuggled into his side and stared up into fathomless galaxies. 

 

“We can make it so.”  

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was a personal challenge for me, because I wanted desperately to write a long oneshot. This work is the longest piece of fiction I've done since a rather cringe-worthy 14k fic on FF.net back in 2013. Please leave comments! I know canon may not be kind to these two but we'll enjoy them while it lasts.


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